Sweetheart, I know you love him and I know you're lonely, but you must always tell yourself the truth so that you can move on with your life and find someone who will reciprocate your feelings. I know it's hard but you will find someone that is just for you. This man is clearly not emotionally available for you. You must really read what he told you:
The last time he told me to leave him alone so I took his number out of my phone so I wouldn't even be tempted.
Read that carefully. And read it again. Honey this man is not ghosting you. You are ghosting him. He told you his exact feelings, that he doesn't want you calling him and he wants you to leave him alone. You must accept that. This is no reflection on you. Certain people have certain preferences just like you do. This man just happens to have different preferences when it comes to who he wants to hang out with, so you must value his decision and respect it. It really is not the end of the world. I went through that but I didn't keep after the person I loved so much. I realized that I had to let this person go because I just wasn't his preference. Nothing personal. I'm so glad I did because it allowed me to go on with my life. You must always tell yourself the truth. Don't waste your energy on someone that is wanting to move on. Get excited about finding that person that is out there looking for you, as well. Think about what he looks like and how happy you both will be when you find each other and then go out and find him but be careful and don't get in a rush about it. I wish you the best in your journey. 🤗
