It sounds like you're experiencing a challenging dynamic in your relationship, and it's important to address it in a constructive way. Here are some steps you could consider taking to approach this issue with your wife:
Choose the Right Time and Place: Wait for a calm moment when you both have time to talk without distractions. It's important that both of you are in a relatively good emotional state before discussing sensitive issues.
Express Your Feelings: Use "I" statements to express how you feel without blaming or accusing your wife. For example, you could say, "I've noticed that in our arguments, I often end up apologizing, and it's starting to make me feel frustrated and unappreciated."
Provide Specific Examples: Share specific instances where you felt unfairly blamed or where your wife may have been at fault. Be careful to avoid coming across as accusatory or confrontational. Instead, focus on describing your own perspective and experiences.
Listen to Her Perspective: Give your wife the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings about the situation. Practice active listening by paraphrasing what she says and showing empathy for her point of view. This can help foster mutual understanding and prevent the conversation from becoming adversarial.
Work Towards a Solution Together: Instead of placing blame or trying to prove who's right or wrong, focus on finding ways to improve your communication and resolve conflicts more effectively in the future. You could brainstorm together and come up with strategies for addressing disagreements in a fair and respectful manner.
Seek Couples Counseling: If you find it difficult to have this conversation on your own or if you're struggling to make progress, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance, facilitate communication, and help you both develop healthier ways of relating to each other.
Remember that resolving relationship issues often takes time and effort from both partners. It's important to approach the conversation with empathy, patience, and a willingness to work together towards a mutually satisfying resolution.
