Advice please Someone is asking me for advice and I need to ask you guys first. Good, kind...

Tell Mary that you’re sorry about her situation but you can’t get in the middle of it and she needs to contact Jane and talk things out.

IM5688 · 61-69, M

It sounds like Mary, even after six years, has a possible crush, (for lack of a better word,) on Jane's ex. What other reason could she have for waiting six years and then becoming so upset with Jane and her point of view?

Now, even if my above statements are way off, I'd be interested in why, after being divorced six years, why is Jane so bent out of shape that Mary is communicating with her ex?

I know this doesn't give you the advice you were seeking, but since you were dragged into it, maybe knowing the answers to my questions might be beneficial in solving your problem.

Pretzel · 61-69, M

The answer is..."this is none of my business"

robertsnj · 56-60, M

if you feel like you have to be part of this start with questions.

ask Mary what she hoped to accomplish by sending the message.

Find out if Mary has feeling for Jane's ex. (the message is sus)

Mary at somepoint will have to reconcile to Jane why she made the contact and more interesting why the ex bothered to call back.

Jane is oddly not a part of this / she has remarried and moved on.

Manneeds · 41-45, M

I would tell the both of them your not gettibg involvrd dont want to hear about any of it and that you are not going to take sides and wash your hands of it clean and clear period stay far far away from that 110% !

JamesBugman · 56-60, T

If the guy was abusive, I would be sure to mention that to Mary and let her jump in feet first or run away. None of Jane's business at that point.

TravisTx · M

Out of curiosity, what did you tell Mary? It does sound to me like Mary had some ulterior motive for calling Jane’s ex and was probably hoping he would read between the lines. Although Jane has long moved on from him and remarried, I sort of get her questioning Mary about it. It will obviously take her and Jane discussing the matter among themselves to keep piece. But realistically, Mary and Jane’s ex are free to do as they please.

NoThanksLeon · M

Blame it on the man.

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

Then you say to Mary, "hi Mary, this puts me in an uncomfortable position. I do not want to and will not take sides. I'm happy to talk with you about something else."

GeniUs · 56-60, M

"Hey Mary...why did you do it? Why did you get in touch with Jane's ex this long after they broke up? No I don't need an answer, I just want you to think about it."

OverTheHill · 56-60, M

Abusers should be avoided at all costs. That in itself sends up red flags about this guys character. Your friend might want to reconsider.

walabby · 61-69, M

Mary should apologize, but what's it got to do with you?

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

Personally, I'd tell them to talk it out themselves. Calmly if possible.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

I would tell them that you don’t need to get in the middle but they need to talk and sort it out.