What’s a good way to start contact with an estranged loved one?

My sister hates me bc I held her accountable for a huge (financial) misktake she made with my other sister (quite young, disabled) that lead to courts getting involved for pretty much 3 years (Long story). But some time has passed and I think blood is thicker than water. I don’t wanna die one day knowing I didn’t even try to correct the situation. I always think about her. She has never tried to reach out. I know she will never forgive me and I know she won’t accept a coffee invite or a lunch date- that’s too much to start. I bet she wouldn’t even answer her phone if were me calling. I’m blocked from all social media but I know she hasn’t blocked text or email. Any ideas of what can I do or say?

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ArtieKat · M

[quote]I know she will never forgive me[/quote] If that [i][b]really[/b][/i] is the case - and a stranger on SW can't know that - then there's nothing you can do or say. On the other hand, if you believe there's a chance of reconciliation then write to her - and I mean an old-fashioned letter - telling her that despite everything that's happened she is still your sister, neither of you are getting any younger, and that you won't stop loving her.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@ArtieKat this is a good idea. I mean it’s not like email or text where I’d be disappointed if she didn’t reply bc I know even in the best of times she wouldn’t write back lol. Even if she wanted me leave her alone she wouldn’t write back. Yet I’ve opened the door a bit. The worst she could do is return the mail back to me unread but I don’t think that will happen.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

Find a way to absolve her of her mistake. Like claim you overreacted to her understandable mistake, and in hindsight you want to take responsible for the break. One of you has to eat crow to find a way to start closing the gap, and per your description it won't be her.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@Heartlander you’re right one of us has to eat crow bc she doesn’t admit the error even though anyone would see it as such. And I made mistakes in pursuit of correcting the situation but it’s hard to admit that when she won’t admit to doing anything wrong at all.

RedBaron · M

The good news is that if you die without trying to correct it, you’ll be dead and no longer know or be concerned about it.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@RedBaron true. lol.

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