a good, painful, agonizing change

trying to accept more positivity in my life, it's been EXTREMELY hard, all my friends know me being a little mean is how i show my love and like people being nice to me feels uncomfy most times. so, ive been trying to be more lovey dovey and shit. It isnt hard to show love to my close friends because i truly do love them, like them my girls. but receiving it? having someone tell me they love me just for the sake of it? god i lowkey hate it, but like i appreciate it i try to show that but i never know the right way to respond when someone is being nice to me, but you being mean as like a little joke? im with it, i can get down with that, shit I got five insults locked and loaded im creative like that. There is a new friend, super lovey dovey, im trying hard to preserve, know be nice also but im struggling wont lie, still gonne try tho.

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Change of values might be in order. Yet that is hard to say without far more details.

iheartdeadpool · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer iim not really sure what my values are in the first place tbh

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@iheartdeadpool that is highly important!

I won't say what your values should be. Yet you definitely need to set up some sort of values structure! Even if you have to make your own values!

iheartdeadpool · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer but like what exactly is a value? like things i strongly believe in like being honest or smthing?

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@iheartdeadpool that's part of it! Yes!
Yet how you believe you should treat others and how others you believe should treat you is as well apart of a values structure.

iheartdeadpool · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer well i think everyone should have a certain level of respect for everyone but i wouldnt know what else to add after

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@iheartdeadpool how do you feel about kindness? What degree of kindness is appropriate for what situation? Levels of friendship might apply. Some you definitely don't want to be intimate. Yet where do you place the line can only be at your comfort level.

iheartdeadpool · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer well id rather have and give kindness in actions, like getting them a gift or helping them with something but saying kind things just because with no reason isn't normal for me to give or receive.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@iheartdeadpool you need to decide! Only you can do that. The level of friendship is important. Because you do want to keep some and not keep others.

Being everything to everyone doesn't sound like you will ever be able to do. Few can anyway.

Example: can you truly be intimate with a stranger? Say giving hugs?

You need to decide that! Only you can!

iheartdeadpool · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer ohhh ok i get that, thanks

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@iheartdeadpool I hope you do. Because...

... with no reason isn't normal for me to give or receive.

Is likely expected.

Jacko1971 · 51-55, M

@DeWayfarer giving and receiving hugs can be very cathartic.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@Jacko1971 it can be. Yet most are not that way.

Heck most refuse to even give hugs. Especially after COVID.

That's one of the reasons why it's a personal choice.

Yet not just limited to COVID. Others are just simply hypersensitive to touch.

Then there some that had bad experiences. The list is endless.