pknein · 46-50, M
In a different context, but I think its generalizes a bit. Ultimately, I don't think its healthy to think of it as a binary "it's you or it's not you" -- its a continuum. As an example, an ex-girlfriend of mine would always be approached by people and would spill their guts to her - in bars, at school, at stores. Me, on the other hand, well not many people would be inclined to approach me or confide in me unless we were rather close (and even then its rare).
On the other hand, I have received letters from people who have said that I have had a large impact on their lives (I'm a college professor) - and in all honesty, our interactions were limited and in retrospect, I never considered myself a 'mentor' or influence on them. People are different and they respond differently to different people.
In your case, and on top of that, if you are interacting primarily with kids in foster care or otherwise those who have experienced less than stable relationships - there are going to be tremendous trust issues and a general slowness to respond. Your eagerness to connect with them may very well be interpreted as something else (remember, you have little idea what they have experienced) - or, they may just not be in a place to trust strangers at this time.
I wouldn't give up, there are a lot of people who need support - who are really crying out for help silently. And there are way too many selfish and damaged people in the world who are willing to prey on those in difficult situations.
Maybe there is an organization or others you can become a part of, see how they work, or even just ask them what they think -- it would probably be more useful feedback than you will get on SW.
Good luck --
On the other hand, I have received letters from people who have said that I have had a large impact on their lives (I'm a college professor) - and in all honesty, our interactions were limited and in retrospect, I never considered myself a 'mentor' or influence on them. People are different and they respond differently to different people.
In your case, and on top of that, if you are interacting primarily with kids in foster care or otherwise those who have experienced less than stable relationships - there are going to be tremendous trust issues and a general slowness to respond. Your eagerness to connect with them may very well be interpreted as something else (remember, you have little idea what they have experienced) - or, they may just not be in a place to trust strangers at this time.
I wouldn't give up, there are a lot of people who need support - who are really crying out for help silently. And there are way too many selfish and damaged people in the world who are willing to prey on those in difficult situations.
Maybe there is an organization or others you can become a part of, see how they work, or even just ask them what they think -- it would probably be more useful feedback than you will get on SW.
Good luck --
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Coralmist · 41-45, F
But..the very first girl you said you both connected and kept in touch!! That is a positive there. And the second girl you began to connect with but she called you liar? Just because you didn't get her a gift? That is not your fault Fifi. And if you are enthusiastic thats a good thing..nice! maybe the 15 year old just simply didn't click. I would not call it quits at all 🦋🙂