No one I’m in a relationship with gives me enough mental stimulation!!! It’s SO ANNOYING

@OogieBoogie what you mentioned is a really good point. When we get used to something it gets boring. Is there a way for it not to be boring even though we’re used to it?

@OogieBoogiemany want to be in relationship but do not know how to relate with another. They often overdo in the name of caring for the relationship and end up ruining it.

@in10RjFox that’s true. How do people relate to one another? I wonder if it’s something I need to work on

@Fifidog No ...not really . It's how chemicals work .
It'd be like a drug addict asking, how can I still get a rush again but still use three times a day ?
You just can't ...unless you go for more extreme things to get a higher dose of dopamine .

But then you are just in a worse situation afterwards : normal becomes depressing .

The only way is to reset your dopamine levels, or find ways to stimulate them yourself .
You reset with maybe meditation .
Or you stimulate with new interests, exercise or new experiences 🤷

@in10RjFox Maintaining relationships takes effort , time , communication, sometimes compromise.
They aren't this thing that magically works 😅

@OogieBoogie thank you that’s so good to know! Now I can understand myself better. So how do I reset them? New experiences would probably stimulate me but I do crazy things like taking an adventure spontaneously 2 hour away drive. What medications could help?

@OogieBoogie your right they do they’re a lot of work haha

@Fifidog I personally wouldn't recommend medications. Medications just screw up your inner chemical process more.

It's more about building mental flexibility and endurance. And finding natural ways to do it .

There is nothing wrong with going out and doing exciting things ...it's good for you.
It only becomes a danger when you NEED to keep doing it .

I'm not a psychologist . But I have been guided through the process of rebalancing myself .

Personally - it was getting used to ones own company. Going without stuffing the boring quiet parts of my life continually with shopping, tv, social media, people, etc.
It was about meditating, (or trying to), it was about walking ....taking in simple pleasures .
It was about getting used to 'not doing' all the time .

Maybe you could try mindful stuff , like those adult coloring in books: you are doing something ...but your mind is left to relax, to wander, to calm itself .🤷

@Fifidog one must first allow time for the relationship to develop.. which is like how rooting happens in plants. Expectations and anticipations bring about impatience. Hence rather be open and available as a companion casually instead of demanding formal dates. It takes time for beauty within to develop and be appreciated. Then one can sense a dependency and inter-reliance as each would look for the other for something. Avoid sitting on the phone and be in conversation all the time. When phone conversation gets longer find ways to cut short and call again. Negative thoughts can ruin relationships hence prepare the mind to be open as there is no loss when nothing is expected.

@Fifidog don't try to understand yourself for you can change and let others understand you and get to know you through them.

Don't find ways to kill time. Your objective must be to get involved with more people. You need to kill loneliness not time. Which means you invest your time on people.

It's like you always do anything in a company and not alone. Find someone to go for a drive or adventure.

Don't have schedules.. like you do something every week or every month. Instead have it free and easy.

Be tolerant and allow people to err. Nobody is perfect. Empathize that everyone is trying to accomodate 3 hours into 1 hour.

Life becomes mundane very easily. We are creative beings and we need to do something new all the time.

Even if you are a good bathroom singer, have someone inside or outside to listen.. 😀😀😀

@in10RjFox I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree.
I've done so much study on this to cure it within myself ....and I'm still working on it .

You're telling her to stuff her time with more people to fix a problem with feeling bored ?
That's the equivalent of telling an addict to just have some more 🤷

What happens when she finds herself alone, or with someone and it isn't enough ?
What happens after she gets used to seeing more people and doing more stuff and it's a quiet moment and it feels even more boring by comparison ?

Stuffing your life with more every moment, is the reason this happens to people in the first place .
It's what can lead to depression .
It's why people become drama junkies, just to make life exciting .
It's what makes people seek out drugs to feel normal ....or good again, coz they have buolt up a tolerance to their own dopamine.

The whole point of resetting is to be able to not depend upon others for entertainment, but to be content with not being entertained .
- to be emotionally self sufficient - to cope with being alone, or happy with someone NOT doing anything.
To stop the continual need for dopamine stimulation....which leads to dopamine addiction, which leads to extreme behaviour seeking ...or worse .

@OogieBoogie what's the use of curing oneself to only be alone ? She is bored because she is alone and find no purpose. I am telling her that her purpose is distributed within others and she can find it from them and not by remaining all alone and to oneself.

She is longing for appreciation and that is going to happen only if she lets someone appreciate her.


Your analogies are always a bit screwed up and that you tend to find one that's totally unsuitable.

She has no people around and that she says she is already alone. So I have told her to go explore people.. and not stuff her life with strangers. It means that she has to meet and make more individuals and not just get into groups.

No use of imagining all sorts of situations like what if the roof collapses when she is in the room or she falls sick.

I am telling her to get spoilt so one can then get into a new cleanliness and life is excitingly seasonal . rather than one season all the time.

@in10RjFox All you took from what I said is to be alone ? All the time ?

You've taken it from one extreme: yours, to the other....which is also yours, not mine .

Its about about balance, to become centered so you can do , and appreciate both happily .

Our minds are overstimulated with media, contacts, friends, messaging , texting, posting, tiktoks, insta, facebook....it goes on and on.
We are losing out consentration, patience, imagination and sense of quiet self.

Which is what I truly believe she needs to get back in touch with. To be content in onesself and have no need to seek or fill a void, because she won't feel a void anymore.

She doesn't say her issue is being alone, her issue is being bored ...even with people she cares about .

You can exaggerate my words all you want and deride me ...that's ok.
My research is sound, backed by psychology and neurochemistry....and personal trial.

Spoiling oneself too much on dopamine only leads to one path .....depression. And that's only the start of it .

If you wish to negate mindfulness, thats totally up to you.

I'm sure she will choose what she feels is best for her.