Asking
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Is it ok to snoop in partner’s phone

If you [b]DO[/b] find something [b]NOT[/b] cheating.
Asking cuz I did something real bad. I feel very guilty for it and my boyfriend and I talked about it. I did not play victim and was accountable for my mistakes and will try to do better.
Thing is he discovered it while snooping in my phone, and going WAY farther than the issue he was looking for.

For a lil context:
He is my friend’s ex (from +10 years ago). And it’s still too early to tell her (legit just started dating and idk if serious or not). And she learned about it in the WORST possible way (someone else completely told her). When she told me about it, she started the conversation with «I know you would neeeever omg ppl be inventing stuff». Which made me completely panic and I started basically dissing the poor guy who had not asked for anything.
It was really mean of me. But I know my friend since YEARS. She would NEVER let that conversation slip. I felt bad for trash talking someone I like but I [b]DID[/b] stomp the issue until at least few months when I tell her we are serious.


I know I objectively did worse and it wasn’t nice of me but I can’t help but feel very bad about HOW he came to know.
He told me he only searched for things concerning his name but still…I talked about money issues and stuff that I didn’t want to talk to him about…
And I don’t even know how MUCH he read in my convos…I feel very embarrassed about some private conversations…
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Why are you snooping each others phones??? Have you never heard of privacy???

I'm sorry, but if I was in a "relationship" where phone snooping even came up in discussion, I would be out of there. You either trust them or you don't - and if you don't trust them, why are you in a relationship with them???

Keep in mind that, should any relationship turn out to be toxic, in normalising phone snooping, you're further limiting your options when it comes to getting help.