Am I the bad guy?

I friend zoned a guy because I didn’t see us being compatible in the long run. I agreed to stay friends . And then a few weeks later I start dating again and meet an amazing guy . The friend zoned guy keeps asking if I found someone yet and I say no because he was stressed out from losing a job . I finally tell him I’m dating someone and hes suddenly acting suicidal , he’s back on drugs , he lost his job , and hes gambled all his money away . I feel so guilty . But I don’t know how to fix it .

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HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

Did you know about him being suicidal and in a bad mental health state in general before all that? It sounds like you did and by not telling him when he was already under stress you wanted to avoid this exact thing. If you didn't really know, I guess you sensed it in a way that this wouldn't go over well so you had to postpone it. I don't support lying but you did it for a better outcome for [i]him[/i]. If you only cared about yourself, you would have told him without a second thought. I think that alone should prevent you from feeling so guilty. Anyway sometimes no matter how much we plan, people are unpredictable and this was the unavoidable thing to happen. Who can tell you it wouldn't happen sooner? Depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts etc are not the result of this kind of rejection, they're pre-existing. Not to mention you had already rejected him once, so he basically was waiting around for you to change your mind despite you being just friends with him. It was all building up from the beginning and I'm pretty sure there's more to his emotional baggage than that. You're definitely not a bad person because of this. I hope he gets serious help because fixing it doesn't really depend on you either. You can support as much as you can afford but the issue is greater than that.