I feel guarded

I had a nightmare last night. I was freaking out and needed to talk to someone about it but I realised, I don't have anyone.

Times like this makes me think of him. I pretty much isolated myself from everyone while I was with him. It was my choice. I didn’t feel the need to have anyone except for him at that time. I was young and foolish.

I was so dependent on him when it comes to my emotional needs that I’m left scared now that he’s gone.

Why can't he love me the same way I loved him?

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Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

That's what my first love was like. We lost ourselves in eachother and became codependent to the point we weren't happy. Lived with them away from everyone I knew and when they left I was isolated in every sense.

There's nothing wrong with loving deeply and having a partner in life, but I've learned they should compliment our lives and not become them due to this.

Menetics · 26-30, F

@Ryannnnnn I agree! But I'm the type of person who wants a lover and a best friend at the same time. I believe that only one person can truly know who you really are. That's how we separate them from other people.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@Menetics I totally get that, I'm the same way. A partner in life n crime 😎 I think it's important to keep your friends because I think a little space can be healthy.

I know couples who are like that, it's lovely and I want that again but healthier. I do miss having that connection and happiness with another.