I feel guarded

I had a nightmare last night. I was freaking out and needed to talk to someone about it but I realised, I don't have anyone.

Times like this makes me think of him. I pretty much isolated myself from everyone while I was with him. It was my choice. I didn’t feel the need to have anyone except for him at that time. I was young and foolish.

I was so dependent on him when it comes to my emotional needs that I’m left scared now that he’s gone.

Why can't he love me the same way I loved him?