Changes to Monogamy... I'm scared

Monogamy is a choice.

I have friends in countries and cultures where having second wives/family/children are acceptable. Yet they choose to have and maintain one family. They agreed to that before they even got married.

If monogamy is important to you and the relationship you want to keep, make that clear to your partner. If your partner wishes to live differently, you’d have to be willing to let them go.

In my countey poly is legal for men, but they gotta have the written permission of their first wife for a second or 3rd marriage. Cheating is not accepted at all and can give the woman an easy divorce.

Monogamy is, at least in my mind, broken down into two categories... sexual monogamy and social monogamy, with the social monogamy being couples in a shared relationship with one another (married or otherwise), often with offspring. Social monogamy does not necessarily mean sexual monogamy. At least that's what statistics tell us. From what I've read and seen, this has held true throughout the history of man.

As for the legality of polygamy, I think it's legal in only 5 or 6 countries and then only if you are of a particular religious belief. Most if not all Western nations have outlawed polygamy and there isn't any push for it to become legal.

Consensually open marriages come in at between 1 and 4% of couples (again, depending on where you live), with a widely accepted failure rate of about 92% - so it isn't a thing, not really, except for a tiny fraction of couples. Non-consensual open marriages (one spouse is unaware of the other having sex outside the marriage/relationship), or what is more commonly called cheating, constitutes a much higher percentage of couples, again often resulting in the failure of the marriage/relationship.

So while cheating happens in a fairly high percentage of marriages/relationships, it isn't morally acceptable and for sure is not legal in most countries.

I don't think cheating, polygamy or open relationships are on the upswing, it's probably more that we hear of it more today than we did a few years ago.

Be proud of your decision IMO. [i]That [/i]alternative lifestyle is one on the road to total misery and reinforces that, you were willing to settle for less and have a low opinion of yourself.

I believe there can be someone out there for each of us. It can come early in our lives or much later when we are older. I have seen it happen. What you gotta realize is that, it will NEVER happen on a timetable you wish for yourself. But.....what's not to love when, through total serendipity, two people collide?

Why would you be scared? Just make up your mind not to do it. And if there's no trust in the person you plan to marry, there's no relationship.

Monogamy is not a choice. God looks at it as a sin. And it's a shame it's acceptable now in different places.

Good for you, sincerely. I don't either.

I guess I'd have to ask what do you expect out of a marriage? Sex, Financial security? Love forever? Children?
Someone to care for? None of these are guaranteed. I was married from '83 to '97. About the third year of our marriage things went south and I ended up as a single parent. Too tired to recite it all but I'm just saying that be darned sure that the person you are itching to get hitched to is sane. Family can be an issue. Money and kids can become issues... Health. It's a real challenge. I've not remarried. I do have a friend and we share a dog. She has her place and I have mine. No kids between us and she's never married. I asked three or more times but she's good she says. There's no sex but then we're both older now and it's not really possible anyway. I wish you luck but just be careful. Remember, 40% of marriages end in divorce...but 60% end in death!

You have no worry's what so ever if you're in the USA. Christian Theocracy is alive and well in most states according to the supreme court! 😡

No because both parties still have to be in agreeance.

Have we come to live life or be accountable? Who legalised monogamy much against the wishes of nature?

You are out there to be cheated in the name of monogamy. All rules and promises until you spread your legs. You can't do much about anything after that but get a divorce and celebate. So better be open.

I seriously doubt polygamy will be legalised.

Well lots of woman want to get with the top 2% of men.. So that means lots of woman will never have a monogamous secure relationship... Lots of woman are digging their own graves because they have had their standards hyped to infinity..

It’s understandable. Some people are just built different. They can’t help it. That’s they wish to be on the other side, (you and I included.)

I agree. It can be too much and how can you devote time and attention? A lot of men can’t do it for one…

Some men are scared of monogamy

Poly marriage will never be legal

Dump any guy who feels more than one wife is good and acceptable.
Hell, most men can't even handle one wife and children.