Problem with my hubby.

We live with my cognitively disabled brother. He has the mind of a child and doesn’t drive so relies on us to take him places. He has a small yard work job with a former neighbour that he enjoys, and it gives him income and purpose. Sometimes the neighbour will also drive him to her house but she’s on meds right now and can’t drive.

Today my hubby is refusing to take him to do yard work bc he has a personal beef with the husband of the woman my brother is doing yard work for. Early last year The husband was supposed to do some work on our house, but he let us down and ghosted us. he’s a contractor and prob got too busy but didn’t wanna admit it. I’m over it and I don’t care. But my hubby feels that by driving my brother to their house, he’s helping them and he thinks we shouldn’t help them bc they let us down. I told him his personal matters have nothing to do with my brother, who IS the person we are helping. This was a big argument.

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therighttothink50 · 56-60, M

People especially people in business/contractors will eventually let some person down. No need to hold a grudge, especially when it comes to doing an essential good deed for a relative who is mentally challenged.

Your husband is acting like a high school kid.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@therighttothink50 I’m glad I’m not the only one seeing it this way, cause he’s telling me “I think we should ask our counsellor what she thinks!!” Implying here that he’s really convicted that he has a leg to stand on. I said I’d be happy to cause she won’t agree with you! No one above age 12 would!

therighttothink50 · 56-60, M

@DoubleRings Tell your husband, the world today is an imperfect place with many people who let others down every single day.

Doing good for others trumps everything else, especially if it is a family member who through no fault of their own is dependent upon you.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@therighttothink50 I did say approximately that and he told me he felt that the other party would be secretly laughing at us bc we continue to “help them” even though they screwed us over with the house. I said driving him there for yard work has nothing to do with helping them. we aren’t giving them a ride! We are giving my brother a ride!

He doesn’t get it! That’s what scares me about this.