Love & Attraction

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Hey what's the biggest relationship red flag you ignored early on?

I had a girlfriend who went home from a party - a party we were at together - with her ex boyfriend because she didn't want to upset him. She came to my house the next morning excited to go on a picnic together as if nothing had happened.

Then we stayed together for three terrible years.

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GrinNude · 61-69, C

When my ex didn't want premarital vaginal sex, I chalked that up to his conservative religious upbringing. But he always wanted me to suck on his penis and never wanted to reciprocate. He promised we would have hot sex on our honeymoon. But we didn't. It was a disaster. I should have cut the honeymoon short and left him. But I didn't. Oh well. We live and we learn.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

I have been horrible about ignoring red flags in the past.

The worst was getting called another woman’s name while he was begging me to forgive him for standing me up 😆

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RebelFox · 36-40, F

@OhIsMe He was awful. He ended up raping me later on in the relationship. I was single a looooong time after that.

OhIsMe · 36-40, M

@RebelFox that's awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@OhIsMe it was 16 years ago, I’m good with it and it helped me in a way I think from getting into worse situations.

PepsiColaP

probably that i was 16 and he was 33. we were together for almost 6 yrs

OhIsMe · 36-40, M

@PepsiColaP hard to see the flag when you're the sixteen year old and he already had seventeen years of flag bearing experience when you were born 😔

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

@PepsiColaP I'm sorry, is that even legal where you live?

PepsiColaP

@LordShadowfire yup lol

Isthisit · F

Them getting insecure about me wanting to sunbathe topless at a very private river spot. They got so upset and almost angry. This later got worse as i found out they had a bad anger problem and were very jealous and controlling.

OhIsMe · 36-40, M

@Isthisit jeeez, jealous of a river 🙄

Isthisit · F

@OhIsMe yah i know he had small peen syndrome

caccoon · 36-40

Him having me in his phone under a male name aha

And another boyfriend that took away my phone when I asked him to leave because I was scared and I wanted to call the police on him

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caccoon · 36-40

@OhIsMe not sure, but definitely dating multiple women

OhIsMe · 36-40, M

@caccoon this is always frustrating to me on multiple levels, we're moving into a more open minded world, where if you want to be non monogamous or poly or whatever the label, there is a community for you even if it's a little more work to find it. But people still resort to the simplest lie, and they do it in the name of love when it's really the opposite.

caccoon · 36-40

@OhIsMe Yep, I dated a poly guy for a while and it was fine because he was open about it from the beginning

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

She was drunk the first time I met her. Second time I met her, she was drinking. Third time I met her, we went to get drinks.

I probably should have realized that she was a completely different person when she wasn't drunk.

OhIsMe · 36-40, M

@LordShadowfire when there's a drinking culture it's easy to miss this one. I've had this too.

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