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Are men necessary?

Poll - Total Votes: 21
Men are absolutely necessary.
Men are kinda necessary.
The world would be better off without men.
Show Results
You can only vote on one answer.
Oftentimes I debate about posting as I typically don't get much response on my posts either because they're too long, there's nothing to add or people aren't interested in the subject matter. Nonetheless, here I am again.
This post will be similar to others I've made but it asks a very important question. Are men necessary? I'm not talking about society as a whole, but in interpersonal connections. As a man, I definitely don't feel necessary most of the time. It feels sad to compare people to a term like "necessary" but it ties back to an innate need for connection, significance and value. I'm definitely not discrediting women who feel out of place or outcast with this post, but mainly just addressing a phenomenon that I've noticed.
Men and women offer different things to each other but also some of the same things. This is also different with what men offer each other and women offer each other. Men and women offer compassion, comfort, support, empathy etc to each other both in a platonic and romantic sense. Men offer each other support, encouragement, humour and distraction but largely, at least for straight men who don't seek any kind of romantic connection with other men, this is the extent. Women can offer each other affection, comfort, support, connection, empathy and refuge. Not to say that men can't offer women these things as they very much so can, but is it necessary for them to? Women can get these things on a platonic level from other women because it is their nature, to be nurturing. Men cannot get this from other men because it's not an inherent part of our nature. I think this is the biggest problem when it comes to male mental health and the consequences of it. People underestimate how much men actually need women in their lives for their nurturing nature. But since women now can provide for themselves everything that men used to provide for them back in the day, one could easily make the argument that men aren't necessary in women's lives anymore. While men like myself yearn for the affection and love that women can so comprehensively provide, I wouldn't even know how to answer for what a woman would crave from me that she couldn't find elsewhere.
Protection? Many women learn how to protect themselves through self defence courses or through intelligent planning of events.
Support? Women can rely on each other for that.
Affection? Literally the same as above, however women can also find this within their family without the need or want for a romantic partner.
Comfort? Women can provide each other with emotional or physical comfort and some even find this more normal than having it provided by a man.
Sexual intimacy? Women have always had an easier time finding a sexual partner than males if the intent is simply to sow ones oats on a one night stand. Not to mention the rise in bisexual or lesbian women. However the ever increasing popularity of sex toys in the female world continues to render men redundant as why would you bother going to the trouble of making yourself look as attractive as you can when a sex toy doesn't care what you look like?

By and large, from the outside, it feels like men just aren't necessary in the lives of women anymore and even though this is coming from my own experience, I'd wager many men would empathise or maybe even agree with the sentiments I've shared. I'd even wager some women would also understand my perspective on this matter. Women always have had something that men crave at varying levels. To be fair, some don't crave it as they've had it or they just aren't that emotive or inclined. Some men, like myself, crave affection from a woman with every fibre of their being. Yet looking at the world today, it's getting harder and harder not to feel dejected as men are always judged on what they can provide for a woman. In this culture, there's almost nothing left that we can provide that isn't superficial or that can't be acquired elsewhere. At the crux of the issue, is the FEELING like we are never measured for the quality of our character. Or at the very least, that our quality of provision is measured before our character.
I don't make this post to attack or even to criticise but to simply address a nature of this world as I observe it and ask openly what people think it means. For me, I think it means that a lot of men might find themselves retreating from women and throwing themselves into passion projects. It won't grant them the same fulfillment as seeing the joy in a woman's eyes when she feels wholeheartedly loved by the man of her dreams but it's the only other option beyond implosion or potentially ending ones existence. Sometimes men truly believe there's no point going on if love isn't going to come their way and I can definitely understand that thought process.
I think there definitely needs to be more discussions between men and women about this phenomenon as I'm not even sure how much it's thought about let alone discussed. If anyone has any thoughts, opinions or comments, please feel free to share.
LoveYupio · 26-30, M Best Comment
Men are neccesary but taken for granted in the current society.
We live in a society where bad men and good men are treated the same,just as bad.
Also in a society where you can get away with a lot if you have the money and influence.
Maybe if men received more mental health help instead of being shunned out by the society,there wouldn't be so many bad men in this world for everyone to generalize and call men bad,when some of them are like that because everyone chose to judge them instead when they needed help.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@LoveYupio Firstly, I have to say thank you for actually addressing some key features of my post. A lot of people either didn't bother to read before replying or just insulted the message because they either don't understand the perspective or the reason to have the conversation.
I'd say there definitely are a lot of men struggling out there with their mental health. Even just people in general actually, but, as I mentioned before, men have a much harder time finding comfort than women do. Men are often starved of the nurturing aspect of women and I think that definitely has varying effects on them. Some learn how to cope and some implode, or explode. I definitely believe that men born in this generation shouldn't be taught to pursue women. They should be taught to follow their own hearts or minds with what they want to achieve in life. If women actually do want to be with us, they can make the effort. Equality after all.

TexChik · F
For the propagation of the species they are essential.
Viper · M
@TexChik Is that all we are to you? Propagation tools? 🤪 Jk lol 🤪
TexChik · F
@Viper Not all “tools” are created equal 🤭. Each gender ( there are only 2 ) needs the other in most cases.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@TexChik Definitely true there. Not quite the question I was asking but a valid point nonetheless. 😁
SW-User
Sorry but this post is total shit. And even if it wasn't, you know you're not going to get any meaningful answers because the assumption from most people is going to be that you're talking about men and what they contribute to society as I don't think anyone will want to read through all that... I'm amazed I read it all tbh. Lol your comment about sex toys got me 😂
Kodel · 26-30, M
@SW-User I think calling this post total shit is a bit disingenuous. I know plenty of men who at least feel comparable to sentiments shared in this post. Granted, even I don't feel like this the whole time, but to completely dismiss it because of an assumption and self admitted disregard of the subject because of the length subtracts from any criticism one might have about it.
Honestly, I'm surprised I got any answers as my previous posts on similar matters didn't get responses either.
I'm glad you found some humour in it though and whether or not you agree, I do appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts.
Viper · M
Humans aren't nessarily...
redredred · M
On one level, oxygen isn’t necessary if mass death doesn’t bother you.

BTW, Your posts are too wordy with lots of unnecessary repetition. I find them not worth reading. Try shorter sentences and fewer of them. As an example, what did your last paragraph add to what you’ve posted?

Just my opinion.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@redredred I wasn't trying to write a novel or a short story here. I was literally just voicing an opinion. I wrote it off the top of my head and didn't really feel like it needed to be edited.
Yes it's long and there may be repetition in it but that's because there were multiple thoughts that I thought I should say.
When I said examples, I meant within my own writing in reference to the repetition.
redredred · M
@Kodel I can’t help you if what I’ve already said doesn’t help you. Unlike you, I don’t favor repetition in my writing.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@redredred Neither do I. The only thing you could potentially have a case for is that I sometimes repeat sentiments and then add something else I didn't previously add. There's nothing in that post that's a flat out copy paste repeat of something I've already said. Every sentence brings something else to the table. So if you want to make the suggestion that I need to keep my segments more consolidated rather than branching out and circling back, that would be a fair statement, but to say that it's basic repetition without adding anything else is untrue as far as I can see.
Nonetheless, thanks for your input.
Carla · 61-69, F
Men are as necessary in the lives of their women as they choose to be.
You speak of immersion into passion projects. Shouldn't a healthy, loving, communicative relationship be a passion project?
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Carla Immersion in a healthy relationship would be my first and foremost passion project. The reason I made that comment was in reference to the men who are feeling like they aren't getting anywhere when it comes to facilitating romantic connections with women. If those men managed to forge such a connection, they would wholeheartedly dedicate themselves to sustaining, cultivating, nurturing and empowering that connection. So yes, absolutely. It would 100% be a passion project.
Carla · 61-69, F
@Kodel look for that. But not too hard. These things tend to come when we are not searching..
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Carla I wouldn't say I'm actively searching but my eyes are always open, if you will. I can't fully "stop searching" as it were because the only time I would do that is when I genuinely am done with the prospect of relationships. I'm just trying to keep some hope by having conversations about how I, and other men in similar scenarios might feel and how these conversations can benefit both friendships and relationships alike.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Reject I'd say it's more 50/50.
I never said that everyone would agree with every word I said but fundamentally, the question I asked in the post wasn't if people actually agreed with me. It was, "Are men necessary?" Yes I provided a lot of information supporting the side of the discussion that suggests they aren't, but that's the reason I provided one side of the discussion, to open up for the other side. I even say that my opinion is simply a phenomenon that I've noticed. I do say that many men would probably agree with the sentiments I shared because if you real them, a decent portion of them are largely true. They aren't entirely true and definitely not true of the entirety of society, but the fact that there's any truth to them is the point that I'm making.
The only way anyone would 100% agree with me, is if they were me so in that sense, you are right. However I didn't ask the question "Are men necessary" with the expectation of people saying, "No they aren't." I asked it to see what people's answers were when they said that they were necessary.
Reject · 26-30, M
@Kodel Oh, goal posts have moved. Not surprised with the lengthiness of your post. Plenty of room to do that. Okay. So now it’s you questioning a woman’s desire for men in romantic relationships. Here’s the thing about that. Absolutely nothing is necessary in a romantic relationship until you feel it is because that’s kind of how love works. It’s based on what you like.

I said delusional for a few reasons I don’t care to get into because it’s not important. It’s how I see you, but that doesn’t mean I’m right. So don’t worry about my genuine impression of you even if you feel it’s disingenuous. Believe me, I came to that conclusion after attempting with effort to read through the many many words you like to write. That response was much better though.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Reject Goalposts haven't moved but if you choose to perceive it like that, fair enough. Literally the third sentence of my actual post clarifies what I was talking about. "I'm not talking about society as a whole, but in interpersonal connections." You could make the case that I should have clarified in the actual poll so I will give you that much.
If that's how you see me fair enough. Everyone's experience is different. I'm not fussed whether or not you see me as a delusional person, but rather that you would dismiss my sentiments because you don't agree with them for whatever reason. It just feels very narrow minded.
Nonetheless, I do appreciate your thoughts no matter my stance on them. I genuinely do wish you well.
Reject · 26-30, M
@Kodel That entire response was you defending yourself just to say you’re not fussed about it. You’re not even addressing the topic anymore, preferring instead to close it off. Alright guy who isn’t fussed. Have a good one.
SW-User
Of course. For the survival of the species. For fathering kids and taking care of them. That kid was once upon a time me & you and everyone else. We definitely need the love of both parents.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@SW-User I definitely agree with your acknowledgement of the necessity of fathers. I myself grew up without a father and I can definitely see how it has affected me in my life.
This is a silly post and more a reflection of your own inadequacies than on men, women or society.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Ozymandiaz Always love an objective and comprehensive reply to a fairly reasonable question.
@Kodel Its a stupid question, sorry.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Ozymandiaz Your opinion is your own and you're entitled to it, even if I don't agree.
Psychoticknight · 26-30
In most cases obviously the women could do anything a man could do argument stops at hard labor they don't want to do it so yes men are needed the backbone of this planet
Psychoticknight · 26-30
@Kodel exactly both bodies have their own strengths
JestAJester · 31-35, M
@Psychoticknight @Kodel Have you seen the one where the woman is shoveling gravel into her pickup directly under the sun? She's complaining about how other women want equality. Shes like fuck that, I don't like this, I don't wanna work. i'd rather be inside making sandwhiches, fuck this equal work equal pay bs. its pretty funny
Psychoticknight · 26-30
@JestAJester yes I have it was great
JestAJester · 31-35, M
Considering majority of workers such as electricians, construction workers, plumbers, road construction, infrastructure, truckers, etc are men yah theyre pretty damn essential. Society would collapse. Men like me not as essential because my skills are not quite as necessary
Kodel · 26-30, M
@JestAJester I saw a video where a bloke read an article about what would happen if men didn't show up to work for a day as a collective and I didn't actually realise how high the percentages were of men in the industries that we sometimes take for granted. Most of the utility and household convenience services we use are over 75% male dominated.
Even if you feel like you're not as essential, every man offers something unique to this world so don't discredit yourself.
Reject · 26-30, M
Everyone has an opinion, but you seem to have forgotten the lesson that your opinion only reflects you and nothing else.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Reject True, my opinion does reflect interpretations of my own experience but I'd wager I'm not the only one who can empathise with sentiments raised in this post.
I definitely haven't forgotten that as I never said that everyone feels the same; in fact I address in the post that some men don't crave any affection from women whatsoever. I like to believe I add healthy nuance to both the discussion and my own opinion.
Reject · 26-30, M
@Kodel You seemed to be surmising your perspective on society. I’m sure there is a very small minority that would have a similar view, but that doesn’t say much about the way society actually is at all. You’ll discover how much your opinion is made up when you see just how many people disagree with it. From the looks of things, it’s nearly everyone here.
SW-User
It's a thoughtful and well written post. take care
Kodel · 26-30, M
@SW-User Many thanks. Much the same to you.
romell · 51-55, M
What do u smoke buddy..
Kodel · 26-30, M
@romell Literally nothing. Never smoked a cigarette in my life and only ever done one cone of synthetic weed about 8 years ago.
Other than that, maybe the pet food fumes in the factory I work in is doing something to my brain. 😁
Yes i am by golly
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
I didn't read the whole thing but in actuality, nobody is necessary 🤷 we're all useless. Every gender, race, organism. We're really not needed to anyone, anything, or even to the universe
Wales · M
Women and men should be segregated and end this madness of human procreation.
Chickie · F
I feel like the problem with men and still to this do day is that expect women to be the nurturer or taken care of. Not just with only men but women and their peers too, they want someone who's the "mom" of the group and I think people should get over their mom issues.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Chickie I don't feel like men expect this, but we certainly do appreciate when a woman looks after us. Good men conscientiously go out of their way to look after women and I personally don't think it's a problem when men want the same in return. I do agree that it is a problem if men expect women to do all the work or vice versa. Men and women should look after each other in equal measure.
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@Kodel It was a joke. Get the fuck over yourself.
Kodel · 26-30, M
@Stillwaiting Ok copout
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