Serious Question with disclaimer (Sorry necessary here)

Asking the fellas what character traits do you like to see in a gal?
Sassy or sweet? Girlish or tomboy?
Classy or not so classy?
What traits do you find unattractive?
If you can , please explain why you like or hate those traits?

Please nothing about appearance or anything sexual, not asking that question.

I want to know what attracts you from a personality point of view and what repels you . Long term relationship status.

I want to be a keeper to my fella and am seeking out male opinions.

Thanks
Rae

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Northwest · M

I want to know what attracts you from a personality point of view and what repels you . Long term relationship status.

This is not a flippant comment, but why would you want to be anything but yourself. The biggest mistake people make, is try to transform themselves into something they think the other person might like.

That's a recipe for disaster.

The same goes for those who think they mold someone to fit what they're looking for.

Just be yourself, if you're looking for a long term relationship.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Northwest I am curious and I am not thinking of changing my core personality, cuz you can't, but hearing how the other half thinks can be beneficial.
Sometimes we do need to change if we have bad habits or things that repel people like a bad attitude for example.

Northwest · M

@Justmeraeagain I may look at things differently from you, but anything involving "attitude" seems to be a "family of origin" issue, and that requires an in-depth examination, with a therapist. It's also something you do for yourself, not someone else.

Wondering if you should set your elbows on the table, during a date, that's something you can change.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Northwest I know that's a prominent attitude now that you should be able to be yourself no matter how rotten that self is;I think that's where a lot of broken relationships come from.
I think male and female both benefit from knowing how the other person is feeling or thinking and if it's a small thing you can change to please somebody in my book that's okay if not asking you to deny your personality or do something you would not be comfortable doing then that is an unreasonable request.

Northwest · M

@Justmeraeagain

I think male and female both benefit from knowing how the other person is feeling or thinking and if it's a small thing you can change to please somebody in my book that's okay if they're asking you to deny your personality or do something you would not be comfortable doing then that is an unreasonable request.

I believe you're talking about EQ (emotional quotient or emotional intelligence). It's about paying close attention to your partner's needs/thoughts, and responding appropriately. That's one of the most valuable assets in a successful relationship.