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Should I stay with my boyfriend

Last year my partner was sexting with this girl on social media. He proudly told all his friends and family about it and I caught him and confronted him. His brother even encourages him to not be loyal. So whenever he talks to his brother I feel on edge. He didn’t meet up with this girl in person but he did message her about wanting her and this was crossing a boundary for me. I considered this cheating. We had a rough patch but decided to stay together. At the time when he cheated, he logged out of his accounts and changed his passwords. I feel as if to this day I still get triggered or something because whenever he changes a password or logs out of an account not I feel some type of way inside. I feel as if I need to quickly go search for someone I can have a relationship with incase something is happening again. (It hasn’t happened again except for that one time). I have a fear of being lonely so I’m not sure if that adds to it too. I keep wondering if this is healthy or normal in a relationship, to keep worrying every time something is changed or logged out. I try to stop caring but it gives me anxiety. It’s my first relationship and we’ve been together for 8 years and we’re both in our 20’s. I feel if we were to break up it would be too much for me emotionally at this point in my life. I don’t know if I could handle the emotional pain right now.
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SW-User
No.
You should end it, sounds like he’s causing you the anxiety, look into codependency.
Fifidog · 26-30, F
@SW-User okay I’ll look into that. Is that part of gaslighting or narcissistic or something?
SW-User
@Fifidog it’s down to your self esteem, he’s treating you badly and you accept it, he’s not treating you right.
Get some boundaries…
Fifidog · 26-30, F
@SW-User what do I do to set up boundaries? I’m not to good at it and I don’t know where to begin
SW-User
@Fifidog

What is a codependent relationship?

In a codependent relationship, there tends to be a severe imbalance of power. Often, one person may be giving much more time, energy and focus to the other person, who consciously or unconsciously takes advantage of the situation in order to maximize their needs and desires. Typically, you’ll find codependent behavior most commonly in relationships in which someone has a substance use disorder, but you can have a codependent relationship with anyone, including your boss, friends, colleagues or family members.


Your allowing him to have more power over you, probably because you’re a people pleaser.

Look into it, learn and grow. Don’t allow anyone to walk over you.
You’re worth more than that.
Fifidog · 26-30, F
@SW-User thank you for your advice and support. I appreciate it. In my future relationships how do I set up boundaries?
SW-User
@Fifidog you don’t allow anyone to treat you bad, respect you, any red flags then you end it. You don’t need people like that in your life. Only date people that have your back. Want the best for you.
I have been there and know how it feels.
SW-User
https://fb.watch/dHyfI1oAMw/