Is the type of relationship you have with a virgin different to the kind you have with a non virgin?

I don't mean this in a " well duh they've never had sex" type of thing.
But being confronted with a situation where I'm knowingly with a virgin feels like an unbelievable amount of pressure.
The way the person was talking initially seemed way too good to be true.
Then they said they were a Christian and I felt disappointed but it started to make sense.

Then they added that they were a virgin and all hopes of anything between us went out the window.

Am I wrong for thinking this?

Am I weird for just wanting to find a decent guy that isn't a virgin, who isn't too religious and wants to actually date?

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exchrist · 31-35

Wrong no i feel it too there is a certain sense of needing to protect them (a virgin) from the world. I never had the need for this level of protection the point was muted prior to birth. Regardless because of my experience the concept of that level or preservation and protection seems both foreign and unrealistic. Add Christianity to the mix and I'd jump ship too.

exexec · 61-69, C

No difference for me. The first three years that we dated, she was a virgin. The last four years that we dated, she was not a virgin (I still had not had sex with her.) There was no difference.

Oster1 · M

I understand your dilemma. It is an unusual situation. Feelings could easily get out of balance. Maybe more discussion, is worthwhile! 😊🌺

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Oster1 Im always afraid of posting thoughts and questions like this here. Because I always feel like people will think my motives or thoughts are off and not respond with genuine concern.

100% agree about the imbalance. I don't want to date a guy that doesn't quite understand the dynamics of a relationship very well.
That his lack of experience means my flippant thoughts are fleeting thoughts and feelings are final.
I also don't want to have to tread especially careful because he may be so much more invested than I am.

Oster1 · M

@Mellowgirl Not at all! I agree and thought along the same lines.

I thought how I would feel. A decent person, would think about this and the ramifications. You are a very thoughtful Lady. I absolutely, would feel the same way.
🤗❤️🌷

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Oster1 thank you.
I will have to let him down tomorrow.
Please see my reply to REM

REMsleep · 41-45, F

Please let him go. You guys have widly different values and its not fair to either of you. Especially for him who is choosing to live his life in a certain way so you want to respect that.
You aren't wrong but I think that it would be wrong to date him considering that you were dissapointed that he was a Christian.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@REMsleep he is too needy.
I was saying this to him as kindly as I could but he didn't want me to just cut him off.
So I had to tell him I'll sleep on it and get back to him.

Individually the various things are not the issue. It's them combined.
It's a lot to take on.

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

Im going out on a limb here😬
I say run, youre not enough alike.

Just my opinion😟

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Virgo79 lool that's funny...
In this particular case with this person yes.
But with a virgin in general...

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

@Mellowgirl understood

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