What do you think about non-monogamy?

Poll - Total Votes: 37

I'm open to non-monogamy personally

It's not for me, but different strokes for different folks

It's wrong

Undecided

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[media=https://youtu.be/yIRdtQYMyB8]

This video came up in my YouTube feed. This married lesbian couple has added a third partner. She is also in a straight marriage with a guy.

On paper, I support them. But when I watched the video, I was surprised that it brought up some yucky feelings. I am probably just jealous to see three impossibly-good-looking girls together. Hard to say for sure though, emotions kinda suck sometimes.

What are your thoughts?

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JustGoneNow

Woah. I was totally not ready for the emotions this brought up. I am definitely a 💯 monogamous girl, but I had a long term girlfriend push me to the very edges of that sexually and it was a real struggle for me. I’ve never seen threesomes relationships work out at all long term and the only time I’ve seen successful theeesomes in general is if all three people are unattached. Based on my very visceral reaction to this… I can definitely say, not for me… but who knows for other people. I’m not so confident to say that this can’t work for anyone at all, ever.

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow First off, I'm so sorry about your experiences. It's not fair when a partner pushes you when it doesn't feel right. I have a close friend whose girlfriend cheated on her and tried to justify it with, "Well, but I'm polyamorous." Noooooo, that's not how that works.

But I felt the same way. Something about the video didn't sit right with me. Maybe because I subscribe to their channel and I've seen Bria & Chrissy document their relationship issues. Seeming Emily positioned between them... well it just felt wrong. I wasn't expecting that.

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister not for this girl. All I can speak for is me.

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow Right. Obviously they get to make their own choices. I support them in whatever they decide. But emotions don't care about stating the "right answers," and that was the bit I was trying to get at. I was surprised that, while my mind says, "Sure that's fine," my emotions went, "DANGER! DANGER!"

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister cooled off for two years while they talked about boundaries. I’m like, woah… good luck.

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow Right?! I think it had as much to do with chemical addiction as anything else.

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister things get really touchy when there’s addiction issues on top of shared partners.

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow Yup. I think the addiction issue is way more of an issue for them than the shared partner bit. It feels like the polyam bit can't do anything but complicate matters.

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister from what I’ve seen poly stuff is a bit of a complication and the rest of your relationship has to be rock solid. addiction issues and the whole thing would get real messy real quick. the girlfriend I told you the threesome stuff with had a lot of demons and she had addiction issues as well. she was straight fire but our relationship was a mess and it just got messier as time went on, until I had to cut her free for both our sakes. I wrote a poem about her. it was tough.

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow That sounds wild and terrifying and devastating and fun and heart breaking. Like a roller coaster with no safety restraints. The good times sound like they were probably amazing, but the bad, disastrous.

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister She was gorgeous and intense but so very destructive at the end.

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/2382675-Halos-Of-Concrete-The-City-of-Angels-with-roads

ShadowSister · 51-55, F

@JustGoneNow Like a fire that is beautiful to look at...until it burns your house down.

I'm glad you have a more stable partner now. She sounds so perfect. I am happy you were able to move on.

JustGoneNow

@ShadowSister nothing but kindness and love in my heart for her. I hope she’s well but I’ve 💯 moved on. 🖤