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I am struggling with my partner..

I know what works for me and what I am looking for in a husband. When my current fiancé and I started talking I was very clear about what I’m looking for in a partner. He was not honest about who he truly was. I told him I am very family oriented and want a family oriented guy etc. he went along with it all and never disagreed or said hey actually I’m not really that person. Well, fast forward, now we’ve been together a year and a half and are engaged, and I have learned some about some traits I do not find attractive in a partner, like for one, he is selfish and not an empathetic person. 2. He is not as family oriented as he made himself to be. 3. He lies a lot (like white lies bc he doesn’t want me to get upset). He treats us as two separated rather than as 1. For example: what he buys for groceries are his and I have to buy my own groceries. He also goes back on his agreements a lot for almost everything. Like we agreed that once we got married he’d put my name on the title of the home he bought when we were together and that I’ve been living in with him since he moved in. Now he changed it to a year after marriage. He also wants to sign a pre nup. I have no bad intentions and actually make more money than him, but it bothers me because all of this makes me feel very separate, it’s not how my family was growing up. Also, he had a fit when I asked him to put my brother as his one of his groomsmen (my brother put him as one). my family all loves him and he gets a long them so he has no reason to act this way. But he says he will never be close to them bc that’s not how he is. He says if I wanna go see my parents I can go by myself and that he really doesn’t wanna go. Today, I asked him what Mother’s Day plans were (we always do something with his mom and my mom) and he said he might be hanging out with his friend this Saturday.. (which is only day we can do something with my mom) he says he doesn’t need to be a part of Mother’s Day with my mom. My mother loves him and would love nothing more than him to go and I would love nothing more than him to want to go and be a part of family functions with me but lately he’s been showing me that’s not the kinda guy he is. This just all bothers me because I feel I was blind sided. He hid this side of him from me at the beginning and never revealed it until I was already living with him. Idk what to do. I just feel like this is not what I was looking for in a husband and am feeling turned off from all these qualities but am caught between that and also feeling that maybe it’s not a big deal.. idk
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Seems clear that he's only with you because he doesn't want to be alone but he doesn't want to sacrifice any of his life for you. I mean I'm all for being your own people even in a relationship but to the extent you gotta buy your own groceries too?
Like what you gotta label stuff like you're college roommates?

Idk.. I don't mean to sound negative but that whole relationship would be a no for me
Moraguea · 26-30, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz yes, it’s very whats mine is mine and what’s yours is yours type of relationship. I makes me sad because this is not what I saw growing up with my parents.
@Moraguea I feel you, not everybody likes to share certain things but when it's everything then that's a bit much. If I were in a relationship like that it would feel more like a contractual agreement than a relationship. Is his side of the family all like him too?
Moraguea · 26-30, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz yes that’s what I tell
Him. It feels like roommates with benefits. He’s a good guy he’s not a bad guy but he just sees things so differently from me. Idk how his side is. His mom seems very sweet and family oriented and giving. His dad does too. So I’m not sure
@Moraguea makes sense, when I read this I don't assume he's a bad guy. He just has a different lifestyle that might not work for a lot of us. Maybe that's the norm to him, or maybe he has issues with getting too dependent & strongly clings onto whatever he can call his own. Unfortunately sometimes that's enough to end things if you aren't able to live like that too.