I came across a post with this meme that said, “ The problem is everyone is looking for unconditional love carrying around a bag of conditions“ and my immediate thought was I don’t want someone to love me ‘unconditionally’. Of course I’d want to be appreciated for who I am, empathy, and treated with compassion, but I absolutely want them to be kind to themselves, have healthy boundaries with others, have wants and needs they understand and can communicate”
People should have those conditions and stop romanticizing self destruction as how we measure the depth/purity of love. It’s utter bs. So many people treat each other badly or have allowed themselves to be treated badly because of this disturbing implication that to not let someone treat you badly somehow means you don’t love them fully. Eff that..
Then their presence in your life is not unconditional, no? I mean, one could argue that the love remains from a far, but then what does that make love other than a decision to live with equanimity, acceptance and compassion? Granted, I’m fine with the Buddhist viewpoint except that viewpoint is based on non-attachment, the opposite of staying in a toxic dynamic to prove their love/spiritual depth as ‘unconditional’.@Canuckle
@WhateverWorks I read this book a Religion of Ones Own by Thomas Moore. It shaped my own way of perception by incorporating the goodness of all into my own beliefs. Your concept of what love could be is very similar to my perception. We must love and not judge. I can love the person pushing a shopping cart full of bottles as much as I love my child. If not potentially more so. If I place conditions like education level or appearance or other then my love is conditional. I must continue to have spiritual growth so that I may accept yourself and love you only simply with text. This is probably why I like SW. it keeps other judgmental conditions silenced.
