I Find Honesty and Trust Very Important In Any Relationship

Which is exactly why my relationship is "complicated" - I recently learned that my S/O has been lying to me about some major things since the beginning, and now the trust that I used to have in him is completely shattered. He tried to present things in a way that made it seem like I was overreacting or just misunderstood things - but he recently had to admit to having an entire other relationship he had lied to me about for months. He has kids whom I love with all my heart, or else I would have been out of this weeks ago when I learned that truth. I just can't figure out how to leave those little ones - I've never been so close to any children and can't imagine never hearing them call me mommy again - but I know I can't stay with their dad just so I can continue to be in their lives and love them. I had concerns about him lying to me a long time ago but ignored my instincts, and now I have to pay the price, but he's still lying to me and I just cannot live a life where I question every single thing said and done.

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Stefan136 · 26-30, M

Without trust, you can't trust others either, you will grow to become a paranoid person and think everyone's tricking you. Plus, it's much easier to just straight up tell the truth. I used to be a pathological liar until I was 18, but then, a really screwed up event changed my life completely on this. I made a fake assumption and told it as if it will happen, and the people who counted on this felt betrayed, and since then I took a vow never to lie. I've never felt better, I just zap through the thoughts as I think them and I don't have to care. I'm too lazy to lie nowadays.

But yeah, I completely agree with you that honesty does matter, and this is a sneaky low blow. "She won't accept me having kids so I'll just wait for her to grow compassion and tell her". But he does feel guilt deep down for this, he thinks that he started off as a liar, him changing his perspective will result in you mocking him and acting like you know better, hence why he could probably continue if nothing else. But he knows he's wrong. He does.

Edit: the above statement is just an example. But yeah, like I said, he knows he did wrong. But he thinks it's too late to go back.