Joe Goldbergs such a well written character

The writer makes you see everything everyone else sees in him. You sort of dismiss the terrible things he does by believing his self deluded narratives that he is just a great person caught up in a sort of Shakespearean tragedy. You piece together that most of his narrative is missing the parts that indict himself as an abuser or even a monster. He lies to himself as well as he does to others.

I can genuinely relate to him as somebody who felt like an outsider, who does seek to really see people, who has felt fundamentally unlovable and still does from time to time, less so now thankfully, though I have my fears and creeping doubts.

You feel as terrible for him as his victims as a severely traumatised person who didn't ask to be that way. Ultimately he's the victimiser who is always the victim and the attitude you take towards him perfectly encapsulates the point of the books.