Tell me a bed time story?

Once upon a tater tot, Julius Caesar got reeeeeeally thirsty and ordered one of his slave thots to fetch him some water. When she was at the well, she noticed a maaaasagic coin that would make all her dreams come true. So she picked it up and said, “I wish Julius Caesar would become the most nicest, beautiful, perfect man EVAAAAAAR” and she threw it in the well.

When she came back to Mr. C., she immediately noticed that his hair had turned from black into bright white and he was holding a sword and he looked all awesome and shit, and he said, “Fear not m’lady, behold, all the dishes have been washed and my anus has been cleaned by yours truly. You just sit back and watch people bleed to death in the Coliseum.”

After months and months of relaxing and having all the other bitches get jealous of her for nigga C treating her so well, she finally got what was comin’ to her because one of the chicks put TNT in her plate and she EXPLODED and all the food that came out and radioactively created a fat monster that hated everyone who wasn’t like him, and ta-da, now we have Donald Trump for president.

The end.