I Have Something to Say

I feel like no matter where I go, I will always be the outcast. Over the years, I've heard people say that the right group is there for everyone and there is a top to every pan. I'm now starting to think that is bullshit. I will always be the outcast and outsider. I will always be alone, even with other people. I can't change this and can't shake this feeling that no one is like me, will like me, or will want to deal with me. I can't rely on social grace anymore. It hurts to realize how regardless of practice, I will never have a true solid friend. I can't blame others for not wanting me. It's my fault. I just should stop trying and stay alone. You've excluded me enough. Now, I'm exclusive. I can't say I'm sorry anymore.