I Have Something to Say

Just my thoughts...

Mis-perceive, Mis-understand and Mis-communicate!

How many of us can honestly say we've done one or more of these things?

How many of us have compassion now because we understand one or more of these things?

Misperceiving, misunderstanding and miscommunicating has taught us to hate and resent ourselves and others and cause us to become selfish and irresponsible in many ways.

When I went through my trials in life I felt misunderstood by others. Maybe it was their lack of compassion, maybe it was mine and maybe it was both.

So I set out to try and understand why some people, especially those I thought should, didn't seem to understand my pain at times. I felt hated and rejected. I felt ignored and left to die alone in this world at times.

I now realize it was my own misperception, misunderstanding and miscomunicaton of myself. In order for me to understand others, I had to understand myself. But more than that I had to learn to truly Love myself and allow myself to be Loved in return.

While it took much help from others I learned valuable lessons that I can now offer to others in the hope that we will all overcome our 'wrong' way of seeing ourselves and each other and bring light to the world around us.

Life does not end because we want it to, it ends when it's supposed to. And even then I don't think it ends at all, just changes form.

I say changes form because every single time without fail, I see a yellow butterfly come around every time I get an aha moment. The first time I saw the butterfly I was thinking of Billy. For years after I saw this butterfly everyday and it was when I thought of Billy. I still see this butterfly, but now it's when I change my thoughts about other people and in a positive way. Of course, it will always remind me of Billy first. Maybe it's been Billy's thoughts all along that brought me through all of the pain I thought I was in.

If anyone is feeling un-loved, rejected or just plain ignored, I'm here to let you know it's not what you 'think,' it's what you may not be 'thinking' that's causing the pain you feel.

Changing myself and how I perceive, understand and communicate proved to be what I needed to see things with Love and Compassion.

Was it easy? Not on your life! Was it worth it? Absolutely! I'm still alive and well today because of wanting to be Loved and to Love others.

There are feelings going on in each of us that are caused by our own thinking. When we change the way we think we change our lives for the good of ourselves and others. In fairness thigh, the thinking we're thinking today came from others who thought this way. It's a cycle and we do have a choice in whether we accept other people's way of thinking or not. Most people are not aware of even having a choice.

Changing the world is impossible. Changing myself is not only possible but necessary to bring light and love to others!

Peace!

Carissimi · F

In Buddhism this is called "erroneous" thinking as opposed to Right Thinking. Deep thinking, as part of the 5 Skandhas helps us understand ourselves better...our perceptions and notions...leading us to more compassion and understanding of others.

However, that others will love us and understand us because of this is incorrect...for me at least because it's my experience that I've been just as misunderstood and unloved as I ever was.

I've always had compassion for others, but Buddhist practice refined my natural qualities. The bottom line is I am not loved. This is a fact. I am not understood. The fact is, the better I treat others the more cruel they become toward me.

To many people compassion is weakness, and I've never found what you have found in the human race, so your assertion that it's what I may not be thinking that's causing my pain is erroneous. It's not being loved, nor having a smidgen of affection or care that causes my pain. Nothing else.

The Buddha said to test everything, even what he said and see for ourselves. The only reality is our own experience. It can't be the experience of others, or what they experience. Those can be guideposts, but only our own experience in this existence is reality.

My thoughts are my own. I'm true to myself, and because of this I'm alone because people can't accept an independent mind.

One can be loving and kind, but one can't bring love and peace to another because that's internal. Kindness must be internalized by the receiver and accepted.

We can only be responsible for us. We can be kind, but how others perceive and accept or reject that kindness is their responsibility.

I have come to the conclusion that being misunderstood is a terrible thing. It isolates and alienates, but feeling understood...that someone really gets you...is like oxygen to congested lungs. It's like a deep breath, a sigh of relief that at last someone knows you...the real you, and you can breathe easily again. When you don't have that, it's a death of sorts, an ostracization. A hellish abyss of loneliness.