What have you lost?
It's sad.
We live in a day where we can take this small, rectangular window & look at the whole world, & yet... instead of marveling in who we find, the sheer humanity of it all! We are gripped by anxiety & worthlessness.
I remember I used to take my personal DSLR camera with me to random places with curiosity & hope towards what might happen!
But then I gained the ability so share what I found with people.
The arbitrary beautiful things that I uniquely knew to capture, informed of course by whatever cultural & experiential biases which shaped by taste, I nonetheless new, this is beautiful & this small square of beauty is mine, & it is true.
But then other people started sharing their own photos, taken from their phones, taken of themselves, with storied captions, taste-making statements & poems.
& before I was aware of it, my joy & my natural compulsion was nowhere to be found, my camera somewhere in the house but I don't temember where.
We live in a world that takes these things from us, regardless of the obvious nature of this loss, & the universality, I nonetheless long for the part of me that is no longer a part of me anymore.
& the fact that me & all the world share this in common is by no means means to critique me & my story, but a rather, a reason we should all share in our tears & misery, hands raised towards the sky & heads downcast.
I'm tired of not expressing things because I have nothing new, perfect, or compelling enough to share.
& yet, I'm tired of the notion that whoever I'm speaking to has any bearing on the value of what I say anyways.
Good day to you wonderful people, I hope my words constellate some deep shared aches in you, or perhaps not cause maybe you would only despair, feel free not to relate if that's what you would prefer too (:
This is a post to anyone, & no one, & also to all of you if it concerns you to be moved by it.
We live in a day where we can take this small, rectangular window & look at the whole world, & yet... instead of marveling in who we find, the sheer humanity of it all! We are gripped by anxiety & worthlessness.
I remember I used to take my personal DSLR camera with me to random places with curiosity & hope towards what might happen!
But then I gained the ability so share what I found with people.
The arbitrary beautiful things that I uniquely knew to capture, informed of course by whatever cultural & experiential biases which shaped by taste, I nonetheless new, this is beautiful & this small square of beauty is mine, & it is true.
But then other people started sharing their own photos, taken from their phones, taken of themselves, with storied captions, taste-making statements & poems.
& before I was aware of it, my joy & my natural compulsion was nowhere to be found, my camera somewhere in the house but I don't temember where.
We live in a world that takes these things from us, regardless of the obvious nature of this loss, & the universality, I nonetheless long for the part of me that is no longer a part of me anymore.
& the fact that me & all the world share this in common is by no means means to critique me & my story, but a rather, a reason we should all share in our tears & misery, hands raised towards the sky & heads downcast.
I'm tired of not expressing things because I have nothing new, perfect, or compelling enough to share.
& yet, I'm tired of the notion that whoever I'm speaking to has any bearing on the value of what I say anyways.
Good day to you wonderful people, I hope my words constellate some deep shared aches in you, or perhaps not cause maybe you would only despair, feel free not to relate if that's what you would prefer too (:
This is a post to anyone, & no one, & also to all of you if it concerns you to be moved by it.
26-30, M
