I can't help it 🐎🐎🐎
Anger and sadness do not make me uncomfortable. When people open all the way up to me I'm right there.
I always say too much or I'm too forward. My love pours out of me, there's so much it hurts when everything is small, contained, proper and in text messages or emails. It's hard for me to message because I want to be close to you. I need to experience you. I need to make you laugh with my face and body and tone.
I'm way too much.
I wish I wasn't. People make being this way miserable. And modern communication makes it so hard to really reach people. And everyone is afraid of how they will be seen if they get real. And there's this facade that has to maintained.
I get there's stuff people don't want to talk about. I have my stuff I don't want to share either.
I guess my issue is that because I can't reign myself in, I am a threat to share and participate with publicly. Also that it's a lot.
I like me. I don't hate being this way because I've made really good connections with people at times. It's brief though. Always brief. I can't hold my horses and on the flip side I can't solve everyone's problems. Though I'd really like to.
Perhaps it's that I don't belong in long term connections. I'm poor at remaining connected like many are very skilled at doing. I lovingly envy people who have friends, and coworker buddies and keep in touch.
I do feel like I run my course with people.
So I wonder if it's just time to go. Come back as a SlightlyImprovedFox and see how long it takes before I'm joking with crickets again.
I really do love you guys. I've loved people so much but if anything I try my hardest at, its to keep these horses chilling so I don't frighten people away instantly. So I maybe get a chance to be a part of a team, or tribe where I don't just, sit in the background. With things to say that no one cares about. On the floor with the dogs and/or cats. Not that I mind observing, I love it actually. But it's not wrong after losing everyone, that I want to be a part of something.
I'm just too much.
I always say too much or I'm too forward. My love pours out of me, there's so much it hurts when everything is small, contained, proper and in text messages or emails. It's hard for me to message because I want to be close to you. I need to experience you. I need to make you laugh with my face and body and tone.
I'm way too much.
I wish I wasn't. People make being this way miserable. And modern communication makes it so hard to really reach people. And everyone is afraid of how they will be seen if they get real. And there's this facade that has to maintained.
I get there's stuff people don't want to talk about. I have my stuff I don't want to share either.
I guess my issue is that because I can't reign myself in, I am a threat to share and participate with publicly. Also that it's a lot.
I like me. I don't hate being this way because I've made really good connections with people at times. It's brief though. Always brief. I can't hold my horses and on the flip side I can't solve everyone's problems. Though I'd really like to.
Perhaps it's that I don't belong in long term connections. I'm poor at remaining connected like many are very skilled at doing. I lovingly envy people who have friends, and coworker buddies and keep in touch.
I do feel like I run my course with people.
So I wonder if it's just time to go. Come back as a SlightlyImprovedFox and see how long it takes before I'm joking with crickets again.
I really do love you guys. I've loved people so much but if anything I try my hardest at, its to keep these horses chilling so I don't frighten people away instantly. So I maybe get a chance to be a part of a team, or tribe where I don't just, sit in the background. With things to say that no one cares about. On the floor with the dogs and/or cats. Not that I mind observing, I love it actually. But it's not wrong after losing everyone, that I want to be a part of something.
I'm just too much.
41-45, F
