I get anxious because my daughter has anxiety.

They are running in the cross-country race at school tomorrow, but I don’t want to go and watch. For the past two years, one of my girls has cried because she didn’t want to run. This is the third year and I don’t want it to happen again. Maybe she will perform better if I’m not there.

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LadyGrace ·

I don't quite understand why she still participates in racing if she hates it so much and doesn't want to run? I always wished my parents had come to my school events when I was in them but they never did and that really hurt. You could go but not let her know you're there but I would think she would feel better if you were and she could see you are supporting her.

HootyTheNightOwl

Any chance you could go and hide among the parents until after the race???

I'm wondering if she'd still carry on in the same way if she thinks that you're not there???

Another question:- How are her knees???

The reason why I'm asking that is, as I went through growth spurt all children seem to have just before puberty, I started suffering from a lot of knee joint pain that was initially put down to growing pains.

It took several appointments before they realised that my knees don't meet properly in that joint.

If your daughter has this condition, running long distances will make the pain worse for her (walking hurts enough and it made 9 year old me cry at night).

GunFinger · F

@HootyTheNightOwl that's actually one option I can do. I won't tell her that I'll be there until they're finished. Only my eldest daughter would know, but I'll tell her not to say anything. Her feet/knees are okay she can run everywhere. She just has this anxiety of doing things in front of people.

HootyTheNightOwl

@GunFinger I would tell them both that you're not going to be there - that way, you're not encouraging them to keep secrets from the other... and there's no chance that your eldest could accidentally let the cat out of the bag.

It'd be interesting for you to see for yourself what she's like when she knows that you are not there and this is probably one of the best chances you might get to do this. You've got other parents there to help you to blend in with the crowd.

Unless you need to step in to avoid emergencies like dehydration or heat stroke, waiting to see how she copes when you are not there could reassure you or show you where you can help with her new healthy coping mechanisms.

GunFinger · F

@HootyTheNightOwl thank you. That is a good idea. Thank you so much.

Notladylike ·

Are they given the option to walk the last part if they want or do they all have to run the whole way?
If not can you just keep them home for the day? It’s terrible weather for it I’m surprised they haven’t cancelled.

GunFinger · F

@Notladylike some students walk when they get tired. If a lot of them do it their house will lose. I actually don't care about that happening.
There are 2 options I can do. 1 is to keep her home if she tells me she doesn't want to do it; 2 is be there to watch, but don't tell her. I'll be amongst the crowd.
The school sent us a message that it will be going ahead as planned. If circumstances change, they will inform us immediately by text or newsflash message.

Notladylike ·

@GunFinger I tend to do the just turn up and sneakily observe in case I need to intervene. Cross country is so frustrating it’s a lot of pressure on the kids. Ours got cancelled thankfully was meant to be Monday.

GunFinger · F

@Notladylike I'll probably do that or not turn up at all. They had lots of practice in P.E. for about a couple of months so they should be ready. I was hoping that my husband was home so he could push her a bit and give her some motivation.

Gibbon · 70-79, M

This isn't voluntary? When I was in school we did all the usually things in gym class but competitions of all kinds were held by the best select few.

GunFinger · F

@Gibbon not voluntary. They all have to do it.

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MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

I wouldn't think it was any pressure if my mom showed up, it'd make it easier 🤔

GunFinger · F

@MartinTheFirst it's different for her. She looks for me and just wants to sit with me.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@GunFinger Be at the end of the race to congratulate her ☺

ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M

Stay home MUMMY, to much pressure on a little girl

GunFinger · F

@ShenaniganFoodie I'll most probably do that. I don't want her looking for me.

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