As a person grows older in life one of two things can happen; they will consciously grow their knowledge and expertise, the other thing that could happen is that the person will resist growth, consciously or not 'as in my case'. By blaming you for so long for my own resistance of growth, it kept me from seeing the real reason behind my actions. Only now do I see the truth crestal clear. It took me so long to get where I am now. The reason why I have been resisting me growing as a person is because I fear responsibility, I avoid it like it's the plague, so much so it stunted my growth. I have to tackle this crippling fear of mine. It is the only way to get ahead in life.