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This year has been challenging.

Not just because of COVID- although that has absolutely sucked too! But because upon reflection, earlier on in the year my mental health was probably the worst it had ever been. I was experiencing panic attacks almost daily; i was struggling with feelings of worthlessness and pure hatred for myself due to the rapid deterioration of my relationship with my mother, and i absolutely HATED my job and felt my soul dying more and more each and every day that i was there. It sounds dramatic, but it was truly ruining me.

I haven’t been the best person. I’ve done things i’ve regretted. I’ve hurt people because i myself was hurting. But i identified this and realised i needed to make important changes, not only for myself but for others and i have. I sought help from a professional; i worked on my relationship with my mother (which is now better), and i scored myself my dream job-something i never thought was possible.

I did this. Through all the tears and the pain, and the negativity not only in my mind, but from others. I got through it.

I am PROUD of who i am and the person i have become. I am not perfect, but i am me. And i’m right where i’m meant to be.
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dubkebab · 56-60, M
GREAT post,well worded and utterly relateable.
If you can't be proud of yourself then what have you got,really?
If you're not there yet,fearless reader,then make manageable goals and go get 'em,-little by little.
I go back and forth with several of these same issues,but can look back and see lots of progress.You can lose sight of that in the short term when circumstances overwhelm,but never forget who you truly are and what you are capable of.

Also,I didn't talk to my Mother for years and today we are tight and can tell each other anything.
SW-User
@dubkebab Thank you so much
dubkebab · 56-60, M
@SW-User Cheers,you as well. My emotions are on the upswing lately,but I damn well know that will change,since all is far from well in my world.So I'm glad to soak up some affirmations.And I am always hopeful that someone who's really struggling will read this type of thing and get a boost from it.