I Have Something to Say
I was having a great day...went to church watched my daughter get baptized. So proud of her.
Now I am home and I am not in a great mood. Very short tempered,no patience. I can feel the pressure building in my head.. I hate feeling this way...I hate the reasons causing me to feel this way. I hate the feeling of helplessness I have. The feeling of no control and not knowing. I feel like crying. Sad thing is its my own fault that I feel like this.
I have been trying really hard to break this vicious cycle that goes through my head that there is something wrong with me. All the reasons and questions, self doubt start going through my mind playing like a movie. I then start wondering why my personal life is the way it is. Why is it that I have only met men that say they want the same thing I do yet we only see each other once in a while. Where is the guy that wants to be with me...can't wait to see me...the one that doesn't want to be apart from me?
Why is that I can express how I feel here and I am having trouble telling the guy I starting seeing now what's bothering me and that I am not happy with only seeing him once a week. Our schedules only let us get together on the weekend. So I would like to have plans for the weekend with him...firm plans. This up in the air stuff doesn't work for me. I need a yes or a no. I have a young daughter I can't just up and go leaving her here alone.
I hate that I let him ruin my day by waiting around to see if we are getting together.
Oh yes.... its that fear of being alone...
Please share with me your suggestions or opinions.
Now I am home and I am not in a great mood. Very short tempered,no patience. I can feel the pressure building in my head.. I hate feeling this way...I hate the reasons causing me to feel this way. I hate the feeling of helplessness I have. The feeling of no control and not knowing. I feel like crying. Sad thing is its my own fault that I feel like this.
I have been trying really hard to break this vicious cycle that goes through my head that there is something wrong with me. All the reasons and questions, self doubt start going through my mind playing like a movie. I then start wondering why my personal life is the way it is. Why is it that I have only met men that say they want the same thing I do yet we only see each other once in a while. Where is the guy that wants to be with me...can't wait to see me...the one that doesn't want to be apart from me?
Why is that I can express how I feel here and I am having trouble telling the guy I starting seeing now what's bothering me and that I am not happy with only seeing him once a week. Our schedules only let us get together on the weekend. So I would like to have plans for the weekend with him...firm plans. This up in the air stuff doesn't work for me. I need a yes or a no. I have a young daughter I can't just up and go leaving her here alone.
I hate that I let him ruin my day by waiting around to see if we are getting together.
Oh yes.... its that fear of being alone...
Please share with me your suggestions or opinions.
