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I don't enjoy staying up late anymore. Once it hits 11pm I become increasingly anxious about my house being broken in to.

It's never happened before but I worry about it so much now that I want to go to bed as early as I can so I don't become creeped out.

A few years ago my cousin's apartment was robbed (they live less than a minute away), years ago a farmer nearby woke up to find two of his cows dead from gunshots, and back in the 80s there was a murder that happened down the street (the teen happened to be at home at the time)...

Every time I hear the dogs barking across the street I literally brace myself for the next sounds to be the thumping of footsteps on the porch.

(The most logical explanation is that they're guarding the sheep across the road.)

When I hear a car drive by slowly I think they're scouting the place or just dropped someone off to break in to my house.

If I hear a car zip by I feel a little safer (a kid lives down the street and likes to cruise randomly throughout the day with his music pumping; it makes me feel like at least there's some harmless life out there... and it's not all dead silence, or dogs barking).

I expect to see feet approaching at the bottom of the window.
Every little noise is a potential threat. Literally. It makes my stomach cringe and I brace myself.

Essentially, I am scared to death to stay up late. I'm so scared. Sometimes I can't even stay asleep.

I don't know if this is just irrational anxiety... But I do know I fucked myself up last year researching unsolved crime stories. They still haunt and disturb me.

Or maybe part of it is the writer in me, my imagination getting the best of me.

I don't enjoy the night anymore. Not when I don't know what's creeping out there or what terrible thing is about to happen.
馃槼 i have a slight paranoia of robbers too but not that lvl
[@209334,ZeroG] Aw I'm sorry.
It's my own darn fault... It happened after I read too many true stories. 馃檲
Yeah i have a bad view of the world due to tv news stories too 馃檮
Figure out how to defend yourself.

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