I Have Something to Say

I'm wondering what my problem could be. I'll explain. It's like I have two personalities. One is caring and compassionate, and the other is the complete opposite. I never know when the flip will occur, and I've yet to discover what triggers it, if anything. It could last for a few days or a few weeks. I'm not talking about mood swings or dipping into a depression. I actually feel like a different person, just with the same body. If anyone here experiences this, please let me know. I'd like to know more about it.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

Multiple personality disorder? Though, I dunno if it's MPD if you don't "actually" separate onto separate consciousnesses, with different memories. Any time lapses or blackouts? Unlikely, but if so: might could be.

It might just be your perception, and it really is just based on your moods. Some underlying feeling which you aren't consciously aware of, but which makes you feel unwell. An object, a smell, a feeling in the air, a word or various words, a sight, etc. And, it's hars to be compassionate and understanding when you are unwell.

In any case, trying to find the trigger would be the best thing. I think you need more information.

Mindfulness might be good. Sustaining awareness as much as possible. Catching yourself when you go into zombie or "automatic" mode and slowing down and really paying attention to everything. This will allow you to focus on said senses, perhaps letting you find the trigger. With the added benefit of increasing your chances of gaining conscious awareness when you're dreaming, with the potential to speak directly to your unconscious mind.

It ain't easy, though.

getmeouttahere · 36-40, F

I was going to say maybe dissasociative identity disorder but when I just looked it up to see what the exact symptoms aren't it says it was formerly known as multiple personality disorder.

BuzzCut · 31-35, M

@Tatsumi It doesn't really seem to match any of the personality disorders I've learned about. It may not be a disorder at all. I haven't experienced any missing time or blackouts. It's just interesting how greatly different I become.

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@BuzzCut Hm. Okay. I feel the same way, at times. But only in reference to the past me. Hmmm. Yeah. You need to find the trigger, I think.

In what way do you feel different? I mean. With each passing day, hour, second, you technically are a different person. Every experience molds you and changes you, in some way. And the relative homeostasis of your body: hydration levels, blood sugar levels, neurotransmitter levels, nutrient, mineral, vitamin levels, etc, etc. It could also be an unhealthy habit you have which you slip into, occasionally, nutrition or exercise-wise.