I Have Something to Say
I'm so exhausted, but the tiredness I feel doesn't go away by just sleeping. I am putting all my effort into making someone feel happy, but it feels like I'm trying to fill a bucket that's leaking from the inside.
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mikemerch · 70-79, M
I've tried to make a lot of people happy over the years. I've learned that I was always trying to make me happy and the other person was just an icon of my desire. I say icon literally. It's like praying to a statue in a church. The statue doesn't know or feel anything. Everything is happening in my heart and head. So it is with devoting yourself to the happiness of another person. It's a little better than loving a statue, but sometimes not by much.
But there's nothing wrong with having a personality like we do. You just have to be clear and honest about it. Your satisfaction comes from your effort, not from the other person's response. We are the leaking buckets. However much we give, in a short time we are drained of fulfillment and want to give more. So take a break and go back to giving. Give whatever you want to give, every time you want to give it. But give yourself the freedom of breaking off and moving on when you want to give to someone else.
But there's nothing wrong with having a personality like we do. You just have to be clear and honest about it. Your satisfaction comes from your effort, not from the other person's response. We are the leaking buckets. However much we give, in a short time we are drained of fulfillment and want to give more. So take a break and go back to giving. Give whatever you want to give, every time you want to give it. But give yourself the freedom of breaking off and moving on when you want to give to someone else.