I Have a Question

so people tell me to be real be myself.but then in next breath people tell me pretend to be confident even if you are not it helps you become more confident .I try to act confident it back fired and people then telling me I am fake am this am that and not showing my true self.my true self is a shy nervous and a worrier suffer aniexty I can be that bit more confident around family and friends I have known a long time. But still not fully confident at times maybe feel more comfortable talking that bit more.i am not always positive.find times hard to concentrate.very forgetful.scared to try new things at times and not much or a risk taker .serious most of time all though sometimes can be silly and funny at times. but if pushed or hurt I can have a really nasty tongue . I am not at all innocent .so it's kind of hard to know how to be I don't want to mask anything but the actual me isn't easy so awkward.