Are you good at putting yourself first?

I don't get it. Every time I put myself first it's a disaster. I prefer to put my son and my dog and lots of things before me. I feel it makes me less stupid and wasteful. It feels better.

I like myself and include myself, I know I'm worth proper treatment. It feels better to be nice to others though. Perhaps it's somewhat validating. Perhaps I'm incomplete in some deep way that I have nothing to identify with myself.

But when I do make selfish choices it affects and takes away from my son, and that doesn't feel good. I'm all he's got so I have to show up.

I definitely don't understand people making consistently selfish choices. I find that to be a dangerous mental issue.

I don't like how people have decided where the balance is. I don't want that balance decided for me. I want to find it and I think I am a giver at heart. I think I like the thought of existing with other givers. Nothing crazy, just thoughtfulness.

When I am selfish I feel too defensive and protective over what I don't really need. I lose what's important to me.

I admire people who have found their balance with it. I know I'll find mine and it will be unique. Advice lately has felt strange. Like advice people give others is actually advice for themselves. It won't work for others and that's too much to put on others. I don't want that as advice but I do love the sharing.

Sorry that got long. As per usual, I am too much 💋