You're not better or smarter, you just have a sense of security that makes you believe you are.

@CountScrofula After what I've been through I see us all as people with various circumstances and that makes me want to be considerate and fair as possible.

It was a shock when I lost my sense of security/family/safety how half of the people were cruel and the other half just wanted me to shut up.

I still don't get it, and I've given up on ever feeling safe again.

I wish I could just get over the fact it doesn't matter how strong or loving I choose to be, I am garbage to people because of circumstances beyond my control. And that's all I'll ever be, no matter what I do.

@ScreamingFox Our society is broken and in the most broken places there is a horrible tendency to look at people who have been hurt and push to exclude them. Like how in a rape trial the judge will talk about how he doesn't want to ruin this young man's life over a momentary indiscretion. Punish the victim, exclude the victim, circle together and protect the social norms.

It's gross, an dit's horrible. I think it can be changed and I have great hopes it will be. There are good things out there.

But it doesn't change what you've been through and how you have been faced with cruelty again and again and again and again when you are just trying to be a good person a good mom and live your damn life in peace.

You're worth so much more than what you've been given.

@CountScrofula I can live with pain, I just want better for my son. And I worry every day if something happens to me he will have no one, he will be alone too. It fills me with rage. I have to protect my son. I will never stop trying.

Otherwise, I put a lot of effort into not being bitter because I know it won't get better, but I don't want that to make me awful.

Thank you for seeing the truth. People think I want pity or to be a victim but I'm trying very hard to not be those things and desperately normalize myself so I'm not completely isolated.