When someone doesn't show you any empathy when you go through something difficult, what do you do when they go through something difficult?
41-45, F
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OogieBoogie · F
You do you.
You do you as to what feels best for you at the time.
It's taken me YEARS to learn i dont have to always be empathetic....even it its my default setting.
I dont have to hold grudges either.
What is best for me is being wary of my own heart, and what's best for it.
So ...if i was in your situation....id think:
- can i be kind rn?
- Do i want to be kind?
- Have i got the energy to spare to be kind?
- will it be energizing to my soul if I'm kind?
Dont judge your feelings on them..... judge them on you
If you dont have it to give - don't give it.
If you do....go ahead.
But dont do it for them.... do it for you
... if that makes sense?
💚💜
You do you as to what feels best for you at the time.
It's taken me YEARS to learn i dont have to always be empathetic....even it its my default setting.
I dont have to hold grudges either.
What is best for me is being wary of my own heart, and what's best for it.
So ...if i was in your situation....id think:
- can i be kind rn?
- Do i want to be kind?
- Have i got the energy to spare to be kind?
- will it be energizing to my soul if I'm kind?
Dont judge your feelings on them..... judge them on you
If you dont have it to give - don't give it.
If you do....go ahead.
But dont do it for them.... do it for you
... if that makes sense?
💚💜
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@OogieBoogie I love those questions, and I guess it will fluctuate.
I was always the person to jump in and do the right thing no matter what. It was important to me to do my best and pass around the good energy.
But I've found myself completely drained and alone because I'm drained. I haven't been fair to myself.
I was always the person to jump in and do the right thing no matter what. It was important to me to do my best and pass around the good energy.
But I've found myself completely drained and alone because I'm drained. I haven't been fair to myself.
Turtlepower · 36-40, M
@OogieBoogie well put.
OogieBoogie · F
@ScreamingFox yeah😟.... I get you there!
You end up with no energy left for yourself....and if no one gives any when you need it....it can make you feel hurt.
It tool me ages to see that although i give out the good, (coz like you....i feel its a good vibe thing to do), secretly i emotionally held them in debt.
Like....you owe me.
Thing is....kindness is a gift.
....and you should never give a gift thinking you're owed one in return.
So now i think of giving kindness in terms of as if im giving a gift -
...and sometimes i got nothing to give🤷♀
The other thing that can help your mindset is:
- sometimes others dont have anything to give us when we are in need because they are low on energy too.
.... Or because they are a self absorbed prick,😂.... but either way... they dont help you.
But forget about them
It really is about being, what do they call it ? - mindful. Mimdful of YOURSELF.
And it does fluctuate.
Every single time.
But then that's a good thing.
You ALWAYS wanna be true to yourself.
Yourself is all you really have🤷♀
You end up with no energy left for yourself....and if no one gives any when you need it....it can make you feel hurt.
It tool me ages to see that although i give out the good, (coz like you....i feel its a good vibe thing to do), secretly i emotionally held them in debt.
Like....you owe me.
Thing is....kindness is a gift.
....and you should never give a gift thinking you're owed one in return.
So now i think of giving kindness in terms of as if im giving a gift -
...and sometimes i got nothing to give🤷♀
The other thing that can help your mindset is:
- sometimes others dont have anything to give us when we are in need because they are low on energy too.
.... Or because they are a self absorbed prick,😂.... but either way... they dont help you.
But forget about them
It really is about being, what do they call it ? - mindful. Mimdful of YOURSELF.
And it does fluctuate.
Every single time.
But then that's a good thing.
You ALWAYS wanna be true to yourself.
Yourself is all you really have🤷♀
OogieBoogie · F
@Turtlepower thankyou🤗
It really all is about balance.
Its just some of us are conditioned very young to "always be kind"
... and 'always" is a big expectation
It really all is about balance.
Its just some of us are conditioned very young to "always be kind"
... and 'always" is a big expectation