About to have more humiliating tests on my bewbs...

At this point I just want a full mastectomy. I'm so done with this shit. I'm not particularly worried about cancer because the lumps they removed before were benign. But the process is excruciating and humiliating and it'll probably keep happening.

Then I think, no uterus, no bewbs, there wouldn't be much left of my womanhood. But it's not like anyone is ever going to want me again anyway. Feels like life is slowly picking me apart.

I'm not sad though. I'm beyond sadness. Beyond resignation. I just want to live.