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I think people are essentially good, but I think honest and dishonest are particularly tricky to quantify. I've always had a harder time opening up to people I love because I'm afraid of rejection; conversely, it was always very easy to be open and very much myself online with strangers.
It's only been in the last few years that I learned to feel safe with the people I've known the longest - my partner, my sister, two friends I've had since 2nd grade, etc.
Years of therapy later, I understand now that this was probably a reaction to how I was raised. My mom left when I was very little, but up until the day she left, I felt like I was the center of her world - it hurt an awful lot, and I think I took from it that the people we love the most are in many ways the most dangerous.
At this point in my life, I'm pretty much out of secrets; I trust people to tell me when they have a problem and I try not to worry about it unless they say something.
So: do I think people are honest? No - but I think most of the time when people lie, it's a self defense mechanism of some sort, or a sign of their own shame \ insecurity. Ultimately, I kind of expect it - and in most cases, I'm willing to forgive it.
It's only been in the last few years that I learned to feel safe with the people I've known the longest - my partner, my sister, two friends I've had since 2nd grade, etc.
Years of therapy later, I understand now that this was probably a reaction to how I was raised. My mom left when I was very little, but up until the day she left, I felt like I was the center of her world - it hurt an awful lot, and I think I took from it that the people we love the most are in many ways the most dangerous.
At this point in my life, I'm pretty much out of secrets; I trust people to tell me when they have a problem and I try not to worry about it unless they say something.
So: do I think people are honest? No - but I think most of the time when people lie, it's a self defense mechanism of some sort, or a sign of their own shame \ insecurity. Ultimately, I kind of expect it - and in most cases, I'm willing to forgive it.
PhoenixPhail · M
@jademonkey19 Excellent reply. 👍
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@jademonkey19 I think you're correct - the people we love the most are the most dangerous. They have the power to dismantle us from within. The things people do can have lasting effects. Great answer!