I Have a Question

what do u fear most? cause i know I'm gonna get asked to answer. i fear realising that this whole time I've been living a lie, i lie to myself everyday. i keep telling myself i have friends... that when i get bullied i actually defended myself really well. that I'm loved. i spend hours staring at a blank screen in my imaginary life, with my imaginary friends. when i see people on t.v that are going through (or at least act like they are) the same i just crumble, cry and sometimes hurt myself. if i ever stop these lies... i don't know what id do.