What is one thing you've always wanted that you know you will never have?

Well.. I have money.. admiration.. friendship.. family.. so.. I guess love. I have never picked a woman who didnt turn out to be a devil in disguise.. selfish and abusive.. so my judgment is broken. So I give up. I stick to high end escorts with a girlfriend experience fetish.. but I know I'll never really know love the way most do. Hurts just before sleep when love is all I want in my life.