Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Have a Question

What does it mean when people say you have to love yourself before you can love another person? Relationship wise.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
DrWatson · 70-79, M
Consider the opposite. What if you despise yourself? You are then likely to enter into a relationship with another in an unhealthy, needy kind of way. "I am nothing without you. I need you desperately. Life is meaningless without you." That makes you excessively clingy, and it puts a burden on the other person that no human can fulfill -- the other person cannot give your life meaning.

Furthermore, what kind of person would be attracted to someone with such self-loathing? Probably a manipulator, an emotional abuser, someone who feels threatened by a partner who actually can hold her own.

On the other hand, if you consider yourself to be a worthwhile person, then you will communicate that to the other. Healthy people will be attracted to you. Yes, love is about giving, but you cannot give of yourself unless you HAVE a self -- a positive sense of self, a self that is a gift to the other person in the relationship. That is what self-love means to me in this context.