I'll Keep Your Secret

I'll stop talking about her. I've put up two posts about her but I have to stop. It's just I've been carrying this around and I had to release it another way. I've exercised, meditated, read, I even drank....but it rips open the wounds and this is salted. Even as I type this my eyes are welling and I have to stop the tears from streaming -- I cannot cry about this!! I cannot!!! I knew better than to let my emotions in. I even caught myself feeling that giddiness when ever I saw her, or got a message from her. I knew that was wrong - I knew it!!
Am I happy for them? Of course, and of course not! I think about everything: Her personality, her intelligence, her laugh, her outlook on life, her tenderness, her toughness.....
But it has to be this way. It simply has to be this way. That's simply how it is.
I put on a smile and pretend I'm okay.
I'm sorry I took up your time -- I promise I won't write about her anymore.

It's just that.......it hurts.
y'know?

SStarfish ·

Oh.. I've never been so lucky as to have a porch near water.. :) my dad used to take us on boating trips down the peace river in Arcadia Fl.. People would go fossil hunting in the river .. Whole groups in canoes they rented.. We were poor tho so my dad brought his own little boat to use instead .. Lots of fun memories when I was a kid.. For a long time I missed my childhood when I was older because my teen years and on up turned to hellish crap and I started running away from home.. .. I keep going off topic. Sigh