Love. Infatuation. Crush. Squish. Whatever that feeling is called. What's with it? What makes one person stand out of a thousand others and become "everything" in our minds? Is it biology, that ecstatic awe when we look in someone's eyes and see nothing but boundless perfection, and crave (no, [i]need[/i]) to spend eternity near that soul? What is that? It's painful, hurtful and useless, because it's almost always a one side feeling, an unquenchable thirst for the impossible. And perhaps it's even worse when it's within reach...
I had almost forgotten that feeling of looking at someone and being almost shocked, in total disbelief that such person could be real, so beautiful, so perfect, in such unique way... Not super-model beautiful, not CGI or photo-shopped beautiful, but beautiful in a simple, natural, unassuming way. Beautiful as life, or rather as life [i]should[/i] be.
In my mid teens there was this girl who had a crush on me, too young back then, but sure enough she grew up and in time became perhaps the biggest crush of my life. But life happened and we lost touch. It was not meant to be, as simple as that.
Crush, love, infatuation, whatever, it really doesn't matter what's called. I saw this pic today in music video and it's the spitting image of her (but definitely not her, this girl in the pic is some Russian model). I know, "what's so special about her?" Exactly... What...? Why...? She's "pretty", but not [i]that[/i] beautiful... Exactly...
Anyway... it brought many memories. I remembered happiness. I miss that feeling.
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