I KNOW I'm going to regret this...

@ShadowSister Can I get away with, "Not in a very long time," or is that a cop out?

The question is phrased quite general. Doesn't necessarily mean on here. The way it is phrased, it would include texting. Okay, so in the interest of clarity:

Yes, I have sent topless pics, both on EP and by text, many actually. The vast majority of those were sent back when I was in high school and the first year or two of university. After that I developed a new attitude about my body.

Anyone seeking visibility to my body without taking the time to get to know me, then got nothing. I very quickly realized that the only people requesting nudes were people who didn't care about me at all and didn't want to get to know me. I was simply another piece of internet porn to them ... an object to jerk off to.

So then the current moratorium went into effect. Buuuut, life is not without exceptions, right? I would say since this "change in policy" (9-ish years) that I've maybe sent out 2 or 3.

@sarabee1995 Yeah that all makes sense. Many of us start off looking for validation and then change our policies once we get our footing. I am most curious about the 2-3 exceptions in the past 9-ish years. The "let me clarify" is ALWAYS the most interesting part. 😉 Were those to a partner? Or did a few folks manage to flirt their way past your personal tenets?

@ShadowSister One person here on SW managed to "flirt past my tenets" but don't worry, that won't happen again. The others were to Alex. ;)

@sarabee1995 First off, props to whoever that SWeep was. They must have had a special connection with you. But second, that leaves only 1-2 pix for Alex in 9-ish years? I protest on her behalf. 😂

@ShadowSister Lol, she knows I'm not into pics, sending or receiving. And I say 1-2 because I'm not sure on the quantity. It was WAY back when we were first going out the first time. I get that many committed couples use pics as part the tease and the lead up ... I just have an issue with being gawked at (in person or in pics).

@sarabee1995 Well as someone with some body insecurity issues, I certainly understand not wanting to be gawked at. Heck, I get bothered when someone leaves a comment on my public photos calling me "beautiful" or "pretty." Blech. But that's a conversation for my therapist. 🤣 I also understand that pictures aren't a part of your flirting. But I would think that a partner whom you know loves and respects you would not be considered "gawking" if they also enjoy seeing at your body.

@ShadowSister Hmm ... I'm not sure that in my case it is body insecurity issues. In general I like my body. And in appropriate settings (clothing optional beaches, etc) I have no problem stripping down.

I think for me it is a hypersensitivity to objectification. When I was growing up here in my very touristy beachfront community, I was constantly gawked at. And I mean when I was 12 and 14 I was gawked at by old men. That experience over several years has, first, made me hyperaware of people looking at me "that way" and has instilled in me a revulsion to that.

And I know that Alex loves me and loves my body ... but even with her I don't like being stared at. And, yes, she knows this. 🤷‍♀️

@sarabee1995 Right, different reasons, but similar feelings. We dislike what we dislike.


That is the most SW thing I have ever seen you write. 😂


🤮

I'm sorry you had to put up with that. I do understand the experience of being gawked at, but I don't know if I can ever fully understand the experience of being gawked at as a 12- or 14-year-old girl.

@ShadowSister I'm pretty sure the stories of my first visits to clothing-optional beaches are still here. 🤣

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And, thanks, yeah it's pretty icky. But just go to some big state beach near you where you have tons of crowds. I'm sure you know the kind of place I mean. Then look for the guys with the mirrored or dark glasses just hanging out. You won't be able to see exactly where they are looking (that's the point of the glasses) but if you watch carefully you will see the general direction.

Happens once? Just a fluke.
Happens twice? A coincidence.
Happens three times? Likely perv.

A few summers ago I saw this guy at Craigville Beach on the Cape. He was well past three times looking in the direction of a family with two young teen girls. I was sure. I walked over to him and just stood in front of him in his line of sight. I was one stair step below his level and maybe 4 or 5 feet away.

Of course, he could still see what he wanted to see just looking over my head (you know I'm not tall). But I stood there staring directly in his face. Finally he realized I was there and staring at him and his head tipped down a bit (clearly now looking at me) and he asked, "Can I help you?"

I just said, "I see you," and continued staring him down. I didn't say another word but he turned and went to his car and left. These guys really piss me off.