whenever I think of childhood I cry bitter tears.

never was a rebellious kid and always listen to my parents.
yet I got yelled at a lot.
My dad voice was actually scary I would trimble in fear of him whenever he yells.
an example of his strictness is that all my clothes are hand me downs (my parents are not broke!!) and I want something new and pretty.
so this one time my grandma gifted me some money and through my friend phone at school I order myself some clothes with it, respectful and appropriate.
my father found out and he yelled at me for doing things in his house without his permission so much so I had to kneel and ask for his forgiveness.

weird that I'd say I miss him because he passed away of cancer.. it was sad and weird seeing towards the ending of his life his eyes where soft and would apologized a lot in his final days.
I forgive him but I'm still hurt. I cry every now and then thinking about everything of him.