Packing my things for a 2 day stay at a Spa resort.

Can I have those contacts lol

I think you could even get paid to have it done. But that might put you in a different realm of certain services being rendered if someone paid you for that.

nothing is free, the feet massagers get off on feet,

yeah plus your feet can't even get an STD

At the spa, you're paying them not to masturbate at the same time.