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Just another random brain dump .....I figured out why I take so long to process my feelings

I detach quickly as a defense mechanism without thought...you get used to it the more you feel the need for it to happen...
The feelings are automatically pushed to one side ....basically, repressed because feeling feelings really sucks ...it takes alot of digging ...alot of time and it's exhausting...but repressed feelings is not healthy blah blah blah ....
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I sometimes wish I could do that. I feel too much